Fear The Walking 100
by CrazyRach
Summary: Lexa went back to Clarke that night at the mountain. But the monsters they believed they had killed weren't human at all. Not anymore... Clexa/Zombies/Lots of dead stuff/ And hot lota smut thrown in the middle. *Graphic content and possible triggers*
1. Chapter 1

**Im hopping on the bus a little here but my seat is gonna be different. I've read a lot of FTWD crossovers with Eliza Lex. That's cool, but nobody's tried flipping the two fandoms around in the crossover? C'mon! Zombies in the 100?! Yes! Not reapers guys. Actual zombies. Lets try it.**

 **This is set like half a year after the battle at mount weather. It'll start off slow but I promise it's not as bad as FTWD se1. Jeeze that was painful... At the moment all I have are chapters in Clarke's pov but I might bring Lexa's and the others in too later. Who knows.**

 **So, if you wanna read about Lexa chopping up dead people and fucking Clarke after, and vise versa, read on my friends.**

* * *

 _ **Clarke.**_

 _Emerson pounds on the door. Monty is typing rapidly, breaking through the mountains mainframe to input the command. Bellamys eyes are locked on the door, his gun is raised against his shoulder ready. He offers no word of comfort as monty panics at him. Instead he stays quiet._

 _"Clarke.."_

 _A hand touches mine and makes me look from my stare at the monitor screens to the commander. The blood on her face causes me to look instantly away. It reminds me what I'm about to do._

 _"He's going to blow the door!" Bellamy shouts suddenly and steadies his aim._

 _I panic myself and look down when a stop in tapping draws my attention._

 _"Why are you stopping?!" I cry at monty, my eyes returning to the screen image of my mother screaming in pain as the drill enters her hip. I cringe watching it._

 _"It's done," he says nodding to the control board beside me, "Just pull that lever"_

 _I stare down at it and raise my hand. Suddenly I feel everybody's eyes on me. I feel all their anticipation and their hope. It was up to me to make this decision. I would forever hold the consequences of it._

 _A hand comes down over my shaking one and gently guides it to the lever. I look up at Lexa. She's watching me carefully, with green eyes telling me this is the right thing to do, the only thing to do. And she would do it with me._

 _Her fingers lock through mine over the control. She watches the screens with an impassive look but I can see in her eyes the pain of my people hurt her just as much as it hurt to see it from her own._

 _"Clarke!" Bellamy barks and my eyes flick from Lexa to the screens again. Emerson is knelt tying a cord to the door handle. Any second now he would detonate that bomb and we'd all be dead._

 _I take in a deep breath and it leaves me shakily. I feel sick. I feel completely weak. I couldn't do this._

 _"We bear the burden" Lexa whispers pulling the lever an inch back._

 _I lock eyes with her and see all the pain and respect she holds for me. She wouldn't let me do this alone but she knows it will change me. She looks afraid of that. I'm afraid too._

 _"My people, my responsibility" I managed to say as I pulled the lever all the way back._

 _There's a vibration from the floor beneath us as the vent engines change direction and filter fresh air into the mountain. For a couple seconds there's no sound. But then the screens fill with movement. The people on them begin frantically jerking and twitching. And their mouths rip open to match their wide eyes. I see a few of them claw at their clothes. At their skin. Trying to shake the clean air away. I imagine agonised screams. And choked voices coughing through the hysteria._

 _I watch the panic and pain. I think about how terrified they all look. I freeze watching their faces scold with radiation. I taste blood watching them one by one drop to the floor, twisting and jerking in pain. I see their eyes look up for help. I see them give up when none comes._

 _I did this.._

* * *

I gasp awake and lurch upwards struggling to breathe. My mind is still on fire with my nightmare. The mountain is still fresh behind my eyes. Their screams are still ringing in my ears.

"Clarke?"

Her hand touches my back and I instantly flinch from it.

Straight away Lexa senses something's wrong and sits up beside me on the bed. She wraps her arm around my back. Worriedly she tucks my hair behind my ear and begs to know whats wrong, why am I so upset.

I want to tell her I'm fine, it's okay. But the words come up as rattled gasps instead.

Lexa sees my struggle to breathe and gently whispers in my ear and rubs my back. The warmth of her palm running circles into my skin fights away the chill of the nightmare. It calms my racing heart. After a more couple seconds air fills my lungs again.

I breathlessly thank her and collapse exhausted into her shoulder. She holds me tight against her.

"Will you ever tell me what haunts you?" She asks after minutes of silence. I shake my head.

"You would try to tell me it's just a dream"

"I know it's not. Your demons visit you in your sleep, Clarke" Lexa kisses my temple and growls, "I want to slay them"

I smile then and turn to kiss her jaw. I feel a shiver rush through her when I let my hand drift up her arm to the bare skin on her shoulder. I feel it twitch beneath my touch. I hear her breathe sharply in. I close my eyes and rest my head against her shoulder.

"You are too good to me" I whisper to her.

Lexa quietly chuckles, "I believe I am good for you" she corrects softly squeezing me closer, "We are good for each other"

I nod, smile widening at her logic as I bring my lips down to touch her throat. I don't want to talk about my nightmare, or anything else for that matter. Right now I just want to feel Lexa. I need her to confirm that I'm safe. That I'm still wanted. Despite everything I've done.

Because since walking away from what I did at Mount Weather, everyday is a struggle for me to realise that.

Lexa lets out a slow breath at my lips nuzzling searchingly against the skin on her throat, and I feel her control slipping the moment I sneak them up, following her ratcheting pulse. I latch on there. The push of her heart beating up against my mouth is too delicious to ignore. I need to know its still beating. That it wont stop too.

I lean away when I hear her moan and I smile to myself when the soft sound turns into a disappointed growl. She peers back at me, eyes narrowing for my smile. Her hand slips down my arm, fingers circling it impatiently.

"Although your teasing me this early is something of a problem" she tells me pulling me closer with a grin.

I bite my lip waiting for it and Lexa's eyes pin my mouth exactly like I want them to. I run my tongue across my lips and her eyes follow it hungrily.

"Why a problem?" I ask innocently.

Lexa groans low and pulls me down to the bed. Then she rolls herself over me. I just smile. I love winning.

Her body hovers above me. Warm naked skin just brushing my own. She dips a little so her stomach slides mine for a second, filling me with butterflies.

"It's a problem because it makes me bad" she says taking my hand and holding my eyes as she softly kisses her smile over my knuckles. I smile back at her. I know immediately what she's talking about.

"Being late to a meeting or two does not make you bad" I tell her softly.

"If it were just the one or two meetings I would agree with you" she returns casting me a serious look, "You realise you've made me miss at least six in the last month alone? Titus is starting to believe I've let you corrupt me"

I shrug at her, "Meetings are boring anyway. Why go sit on your throne thinking about me when you could actually have me?"

Lexa smiles an inch wider at the mention of having me and she lowers herself over me. Her lips press gently on mine, slow and tender. And then I feel her tongue slip into my mouth and her hand slide away from mine to my thigh. I moan deeply. I want her to keep going.

Her hand softly scratches up my leg causing me to moan loudly. Her lips have taken up home on my neck, gently kissing and sucking the skin there. It gives warning that Lexa is about to go slow. And though I love how soft a lover she is I can't handle slow right now. I need her to take control of me completely. Before I have a chance to think back to my nightmare.

So I bring a hand up to her waist and lean up to her ear.

"If you want to make your meeting you should be a bit quicker" I whisper in that tone I know makes her head switch off.

Her eyes touch on mine and Lexa gives me this piercing look. I feel a twist of guilt when it looks like she knows exactly what I'm doing. I feel like speaking up. But then she's pressing into me hard, hungrily kissing my neck and making me moan and buck with her name, and I soon forget all about my messed up dreams and my messed up life and just enjoy the moment with her.

Lexa moans when moving up into her makes our centres clash. I grip the back of her hip and pull her down, repeating the action to gain another moan and another. Soon her eyes are closed and she's moving back against me, adding her own friction to our dance in sweet tantalising circles. I gasp up at her. And she gasps back. Soon the room is full of just her and me, and together it sounds so incredibly right.

Her lips claim me again, tongue and teeth tracing my lips eagerly. I breathe sharply in the moment she releases my tingling mouth. My head tips back and I grin widely at her whispering in my ear. She promises to make me feel good. She has no idea she's already doing it.

Lexa's hands pull mine from her back and pin them to the bed. She shifts herself down to kiss down my throat and chest. Her mouth pressing hard against my eager flesh. I arch up impatiently when she licks from the middle of my chest and up the swell of my left breast. But she stops there, reclaiming her tongue to pause over the tip of my taunt nipple.

My wrists strain against her hold. She exhales slowly through her nose, teasing the skin it blows over. I narrow my eyes at her. She knows I can't stand her games when I'm this wound up.

"Please" I whisper in beg, shaking again when I feel my mind begin to wander away. Her eyes darkening lustfully bring me right back.

She releases one of my hands as her mouth hits the top of my stomach and she pulls hers down to tease the skin on my inner thigh. I moan watching her eyes swirl darkly as she nudges my knees apart. Lexa looks down and she gives me a brief smirk before she lowers her head to take me entirely.

"Lexa!" I moan out in high voice. I can't help it.

I hear her chuckle and her filling whisper against my sensitive flesh causes me to tremble all over. She pulls her head back and I cry out in disappointment.

"Make that seven meetings missed" she smirks filthily before she quickly dips back down.


	2. Chapter 2

Lexa's body is amazing. Her skin is flawlessly tanned and soft. And toned to the point of goddess. My finger traces the tattoo on her back, just like it does every time we're in bed together. It just captures me. I can't help but touch the intricate patterns and the dark circles lining down her spine. She hums beneath my touch like a kitten purring in sleep. It makes me smile at her while I continue to trace.

"You like my tattoo" she husks thickly.

I nod and take my finger back to the start of it, "It's beautiful" I tell her.

"Maybe you would like one" she teases, as if it would scare me to get a tattoo. I can't help but smile.

"Maybe I would" I trade back.

She tilts her head back then and catches my eyes. Hers glow a warm green at me.

"Truly?" I nod and she smiles, "I would like that. Then I could drive you mad with touching"

I run my hand down her back and grin at the sharp breath she takes, "I thought you liked it" I whisper tilting myself towards her. Lexa takes my kiss and nods.

"I love it" she whispers into my lips, "Anytime you touch me is a gift I cherish"

Lexa's hands touch my face to hold me down into her kiss but I move myself back with a smile at the disappointed look she gives me.

"Maybe I should stop then. I would spoil you with too many gifts"

I take my hands and begin to move away. Immediately she sits up to grab them back. I chuckle and slip our fingers together. My eyes catch on the healing scar on her left hand before my palm covers it and my smile fades. I remember the horrible night she'd made the blood oath. That night at the mountain.

I shiver. Lexa notices and asks what's wrong. I shake the memory from my mind. I don't want her to worry.

"I'm sorry you missed your meeting" I tell her, though I'm not sorry. At all.

Lexa pulls me over her and tucks me up in her lap. She kisses my chest, "I'm not"

I smile down at her.

"Was it important?" I ask tracing my fingers along the black design on her neck. Her hands press harder into my back and her kisses move up my throat and I smile hugely.

"Hmm.. It was just a meeting with your mother"

I freeze and look down at her still kissing me. As if she saw nothing wrong in missing something that big.

"You're kidding, right? Please tell me you're kidding"

Lexa tilts her head back and frowns at me, "Abby and Marcus are here to negotiate terms of our treaty. Clarke, you knew-"

"And you put that aside for sex?!" I cried pulling myself off her. Lexa stands after me as I hop off the bed.

"You'll recall that you put it off for sex" I give her an impatient glance and find she's smiling, "Perhaps I should have gone into that meeting thinking of you naked and ready in my bed. I'm sure your mother would have had plenty to ask when i failed to give her my attention"

Her teases make my skin itch to argue back but I don't. Instead I quickly hop into my clothes and look around frantically for my jacket. I growl when I cant find it. Lexa smiles and bends down over the other side of the bed. When she stands again the jacket is dangling from her fingers for me.

"I should go talk to them," I tell her as I take it, "Mom will be pissed you blew her off"

Lexa waves her hand dismissively, "She should understand. I am commander of twelve.. clans..." Lexa frowns at me a moment like something just hit her.

"What is it?" I ask watching her brain work. She glances back to me and shakes her head.

"Just a thought. One I hope to discuss with you later. For now-"

A bang on the door cuts off Lexa's walk back to me and we look back to the door, both groaning knowing who it is before they call my name.

"Coming, mom!" I call back and sigh. Clan liaison is getting old fast.

"And bring Lexa!" my mom shouts through the door moodily, "I know she's in there with you"

Lexa looks a little irritated but I know it's because mom used her name. She doesn't like that much. Only I've been allowed to do that.

I start to shout back, "The commander isn't-"

"Of course, Abby" Lexa calls over me and quickly pulls her own clothes on. She looks back at me as she's tying her boots up.

"You couldn't have stayed quiet?" I question, annoyed. Lexa smiles and shakes her head.

"I refuse to hide while you sneak out" she told me standing to walk over to me.

"But I have to whenever Titus knocks on your door?!"

Lexa's smile widens, "Titus isn't my mother"

"Isn't he" I grumbled reminding her quickly of all the times she'd had me sneak out her room for the flamekeeper. Lexa rolls her eyes at me while the list grows.

"Clarke?" Mom calls making sure we're actually coming.

I glare at the door and lexa smiles.

"You should speak to her" she tells me laughing at my reluctant expression, "She is your mother, Clarke. And she probably already knows about us anyway. I will have to start spending time with her sooner or-"

Another bang hits the door and we both roll our eyes,

"Later" Lexa continues sighing, "Though later sounds better" Lexa says snagging the bottom of my shirt to pull me into her, "Then I would have more time with you"

Though I see it as a sly blow I cant help the flutter in my chest. I roll my hands up over the soft contours of her chest and smile at her.

"Anybody ever tell you you're possessively romantic?"

She shakes her head, "Nobody else gets my attention the way you do, Clarke. You've stolen me from others"

Lexa kisses me and suddenly we're headed straight for the bed again.

I land on the furs with a sharp exhale into her mouth when she lands on top of me. Lexa takes the moment to push her tongue up against my bottom lip, sucking it gently into her mouth. My fingers crawl through her hair, clinging to her tightly. She groans low for it and nips me when I smile.

A bang on the door stops us going any further. Lexa growls into me.

"Is it too late to say we're not here?" She questions kissing me harder a moment.

"I think.. that ship.. mm.. has definitely.. sailed.." I tell her back, pushing on her shoulders to get her to let up. Lexa does but moves her mouth over to my neck instead. Clearly she's not ready to take that meeting yet.

Mom grows more impatient on the other side of the door. She gives it another minute before she shouts at us to come out now. We groan into each other annoyed. Reluctantly Lexa peels herself off me and helps me back up.

"Come. Clearly it is important"

I let her take her hands back and wipe my own down my shirt to smooth out the creases she'd made. Lexa smirks to herself and pulls her hair over one shoulder in her usual casual style, effectively hiding the mess I'd made of it. I nod to her when I'm ready to face my mother.

"It better be important" I grumble to her, "Otherwise I'm ordering her a public humiliation"

Lexa's brow rises in surprise and I laugh, "I'm kidding"

She nods in understanding though I can tell she still believes I meant it. I bump her side with my hip as we walk to the door. She smiles but it's tight. As she opens the door all signs of Lexa are gone. She's simply the commander now.

"Abby" she greets with a respecting tilt of her head.

My mom cuts a glance between us before settling on me. I see her eyes move almost too knowingly over my skin. Searching for something. They lock on my neck and I have to fight against blushing in embarrassment when I feel the skin there hot and aching still from Lexa's zealous bite.

Mom's eyes narrow at my blank expression. She gives me a look that says we're talking later. I roll mine back.

"What did you want, mom?" I ask not bothering to hide the irritation from my voice as graciously as Lexa had. My moms expression turns even more stonier.

"If you want to spend your days distracting the commander then that's fine. But we have a problem"

"She likes a little distraction" I throw back under my breath.

Lexa steps forward on my mom's look for me and addresses her herself.

"What problem?" She asks, voice serious and body tensed in concern.

Mom looks between us again and I can tell she's guessing just how close the two of us are for Lexa to be so concerned with skaikru. When we held no ties with her, besides a thin thread of an alliance, Lexa had no reason to concern herself with us.

"We need to discuss the mountain" my mom tells her curtly.

Lexa stiffens beside me. I echo her. We had agreed. Nobody claims the mountain. It would be a grave for as long as it stood.

"That is not a negotiation we are going to have, Abby" Lexa tells her coldly.

I tap her hand hanging at her side. She could be a little nicer. She shoots me a look.

No, it says, she can't.

She turns from us both, effectively ending the conversation, and my mom gives me a stern look.

"You heard her" I mumble turning to follow Lexa back into my room.

Mom grabs my arm, "Clarke, we need that mountain"

I shake my head at her. I wasn't about to talk Lexa into giving mount weather to skaikru,

"Clarke, please! She listens to you"

"I'm not talking the commander into anything, Mom. We agreed. Mount Weather stands abandoned"

"Clarke, the medical supplies in that mountain, the facilities even, could help our people! Ours and Lexa's"

I turn away from her. I wasn't budging on this one. Mom grabs my hand again and looks into my eyes like I'm a stranger. It has me looking away.

"What has she done to you?" She asks staring at me, "The Clarke I knew wouldn't waste a chance for her people's survival"

I yank my hand away and take a large step back.

"That Clarke died, mom. In that mountain when she pulled the lever that killed all those people. She's not coming back"

My mom's eyes look at me pained. She comes towards me but stops. I can feel Lexa behind me, watching us and probably sending my mom a strong look. Mom stiffens up and gives me a fleeting glance.

"This conversation is not over" she warns and leaves, but not before she gives Lexa a dark look.

I sag the moment she's gone. That was difficult. Acting strong while I spoke of the mountain was seriously hard. It just gave me flashes of what I'd done that night.

Lexa comes up behind me in the silence that follows and wraps her arms around my waist. Her lips touch my temple as she leans out to close the door and I close my eyes trembling to hold the pain in. Her hand touches mine, fingers asking me to explain. But I can't. I don't want to talk about it.

"Thank you" she whispers. I look back at her confused. She smiles, "For standing by your decision to leave the mountain alone. As leaders we have to remain paired in solidarity"

I nod, "I want you to do something for me" I tell her staring at the space where my mom had stood.

She whispers her agreement and I breathe calmly before I make my demand.

"Send a watch to the mountain. As of today my people are forbidden from stepping a foot even a mile near it"

She was quiet a moment, "You do not trust them"

I shake my head, "I don't. That mountain looks like a candy store to them right now. They'd do anything to get their hands on the supplies inside it. Especially now winter is getting close"

"Consider it done"

I thanked her and leant back against her chest with a deep exhale. Lexa's lips touch my neck and I smile and raise my hand to touch her cheek. She brings her own back to link our fingers on her skin.

"I think a distraction is needed" she whispers. I hum in lost thought and her grip squeezes a tickled laugh out of me, "Have I shown you the harbour yet?" she asks.

I shake my head, "You've been a little too distracted lately to give me a tour"

"Hmm.. I have been a little busy..having my own tour of you" She nips my ear and removes my jacket. I feel her fingers deftly untying the back of my shirt after. I smile at her confidence.

"I thought you were supposed to be giving me the tour?" I innocently ask turning in her arms. She's smiling when I face her.

"I'm sure there's one here.." She takes my hand and presses it down her front with a wicked smile that has me forgetting about skaikru and everything else, "Can I interest you at all, Wanheda?"

I growl unable to keep up the pretence of being controlled and yank her into me. She's grinning when I stretch up to kiss her. I let her have this one.

* * *

Lexa wakes me up with a soft kisses smothering the side of my face. It makes me smile. She whispers that it's time to get up and I groan and roll away from her.

"Clarke" she calls in a humoured voice.

I groan again in reply. I don't want to wake up yet.

"Clarke, you have to get up. We're expected in council"

"See you later then" I yawned tucking myself deeper into the warm furs. Lexa prods me in the back.

"We're expected," she repeats, "As in the both of us" She prods me again when I fail to respond.

I jerk away from her and look over my shoulder at her. She's already dressed and looking immaculate and relaxed lying on her side behind me. She prods me again when I simply stare at her.

"Wake up, Wanheda" she whispers and leans forward to kiss me. I sigh and sit up.

Lexa watches me stretch my arms out and waits for me to slip out of the bed. But as I'm about to stand she grabs my wrist and pulls me back. I yelp out in surprise and giggle as her arms wrap around me. Her warm breath hits my shoulder. Her lips follow seconds behind. I can't help but melt into her.

"Good afternoon to you too, commander" I grin shivering when she bites my shoulder. Her tongue washes over it after, and I feel her smiling into my skin.

"I wish we didn't need to go to this council" she huffed holding me tighter. I rub my hand over hers on my stomach and lean back to kiss her cheek.

"C'mon" I sigh, "The sooner we get this over with the sooner you can show me this harbour you've been talking about"

Her eyes light up and she grins. Lexa nods and kisses the corner of my mouth before she lets me go.

"I'll see you in council" she walks to the door and stops with her hand on it. Her eyes are washing all over me as I pull my clothes on, pooling in regret and hunger. I simply smirk back.

* * *

"Commander, what do you propose we do about Skaikru?"

I lift my head. For the past forty minutes I've been sat in the ring of clan ambassadors just staring at the ground while they discussed clan matters that bored me to the point of tears. Hearing my own clan mentioned snatches my attention immediately.

I look back to the commander. She's sat back on her throne, slumped even, with one leg crossed over the other. I can tell she's just as bored as I am. Lexa gives me a short glance and asks the ambassador to explain his question.

"They're a threat" he states.

"We're your allies" I bark back at him, "Not a threat"

He sneers back at me, "Heda made that alliance during a war. We are no longer at war. So we no longer need you"

I glare at him and shoot Lexa a look to kick him down already. She tips her head at me. I can see she's considering whether he is right. I want to shout at her. Seriously?!

"It's true," she announces and I stare at her in disbelief, "We are no longer at war. Skaikru are no longer needed"

Lexa's eyes return to me just as I'm thinking about storming out. If she doesn't need my clan then she sure as hell doesn't need me. Lexa smiles slightly.

 _Wait,_ her eyes tell me.

"But like all clans that I have warred with before, peace has proven only lasting inside this coalition. Wanheda," she raised her hand to me, "I would like to offer your clan a place among us"

I stare back at her dumbly. At Lexa's side Titus is whispering in her ear, probably to say this is a massive mistake. The other ambassadors are silent. Their eyes burn into me waiting for my response.

I weakly nod. Lexa's smile widens.

"Titus!" she barks turning to give the flamekeeper a scolding look, "Stop your whispering and prepare the summit. One week from now Skaikru will join my coalition"

Lexa stands then and the rest of us rise off our seats to kneel to her. She dismisses us but grabs me before I can follow the others out. She's smiling so wide at me.

"This was that big brainwave you had earlier?" I ask frowning at her. She nods.

"I think it's the right thing to do. Your people will be linked to mine. And.." Lexa waves her hand for her guards to leave. She grabs me close the second the door closes behind them and leaves a hot kiss on my mouth.

"It means you have no reason not to stay" she whispers kissing me some more.

I shiver against her and it takes all my strength to push her back. She looks down at me confused. She doesn't get why I'm stopping her. I smile and stroke her face.

"Not here" I tell her softly. Lexa simply smiles and presses a kiss to my hand.

"As you wish" she breathes lowly, "But one day I will have you on my throne"

I feel an ache rush through me at confident tone in her promise and I find it incredibly hard not to take hold of her and walk her back to that throne to give her exactly what she wants. She smirks like she knows this indecision rushing through me. Her fingers tip my chin up and she kisses me quickly before she moves around me.

"Let me show you the harbour" she smiles tugging on my jacket.

I stumble forward with a grin and let her drag me to the door.


	3. Chapter 3

"Wow! Lexa, this is beautiful!"

Lexa grins at me taking it all in. My eyes sweep over the glassy surface of the water. As far as I can see its just calm blue. The ocean. That's actually the ocean!

"You should see your face" Lexa chuckles and reaches over to tip my mouth shut. I swat her hand away.

"I'm sorry" I blush, "But you have no idea how amazing it is! I've never seen the ocean before"

Lexa beams at me, "I know. And I apologise for keeping it from you. Had I known you would be this speechless I would have shown it to you the moment I brought you back here"

It's my turn to smile then, "You were busy" I argue, remembering those gruelling weeks of war councils and clan celebrations. Lexa had been all but disappeared from my world during that time. Remembering it made my heart ache in lonely memory.

Lexa turns to look out at the ships sailing in the distance, "I should have made time"

I look at her. At the sun casting a warm glow over her face. At the lost way her eyes are staring out to the horizon. She's beautiful. Absolutely breathtaking. Looking at her makes my heart dizzy. But I can't not look at her. This funny feeling she gives me is so painful it's addictive.

"Thank you" I whisper lifting my hand to take hers.

She looks down at my fingers slipping between hers. Her hand tightens on mine when I smile at her and she smiles too as she begins to lower her face down.

"Clarke!" A voice calls, stopping my small stretch up to lexa. I jump back and turn to the newcomer.

Lexa quickly lets go of me as Echo approaches. The ice warrior grins at the two of us as she comes to a stop in front of us. She doesn't look shocked or surprised. I can't tell whether or not she saw anything.

"You finally got around to showing her the harbor, Lexa" Echo grins nudging my elbow.

I smile and look up to Lexa's stoic look back at her friend.

"And we were enjoying it, Echo" she growls lowly.

Echo rolls her eyes and looks back at me.

"I was trying to find you," she tells me smiling wider, "You've missed training twice now. Warriors are not made from laziness"

"It wasn't laziness!" I argue loudly.

Echo holds a finger up to stop me.

"Were you or were you not in bed when you should have been in the field with me?" Echo returns crossing her arms to look at me sternly.

I think about my answer. Technically I wasn't in bed. Technically I was on the couch, and against the wall, and on the floor. And anywhere else Lexa felt like showing me in our long hard day of touring the commander's room. But Im not about to share that with Echo.

I look back to lexa's slight smile. She glances down and she shakes her head. She's not going to help me out here. I groan.

"Yes" I sigh back defeated.

Lexa sniggers at Echo's disapproving look and I nudge her in the ribs. She sees my scowl and bends down to whisper in my ear.

"Don't worry" she husks cheekily, leaning just that bit closer so her lips brush the words into my skin, "I quite enjoyed you missing your training, Clarke"

It takes everything in me not to blush right in front of Echo. I swallow nervously and nod my head at the ice warrior watching us. She narrows her eyes at me in return, lips curling suspiciously into a smile she shoots between the two of us.

"What was your business with Wanheda, Echo?" Lexa asks leaning back and finally coming to my rescue. Echo crosses her arms over her chest.

"I wanted to go over some more archery with her" her eyes beam proudly over me, "Clarke showed an incredible natural talent for it in our first session"

Lexa looks down at me surprised, "You never told me this?"

I shrug back at her, "You never asked" I throw back grinning.

Lexa narrows her eyes at me. I can see in them the want to drag me against her so she can pull more secrets from me. I smile back. I'm enjoying the torture she has of not being able to touch me to get what she wants.

"Perhaps Heda would like to accompany us to the training fields?" echo asks politely through our silent game.

Lexa looks away from me and shakes her head.

"I'm sorry to miss what is sure to be a show" she smirks back at me when I roll my eyes, "But I have to speak with Skaikru before they leave Polis today"

I look up at her, "What?"

Lexa's eyes leave echo. She glances back at me.

"I have to speak with Marcus about the summit next week" she explains gently, "Its rude to invite your people to a ceremony without them knowing its for them. I'd like skaikru to know I didn't force them into joining us"

I frown deeply at her, "And my mother?"

Lexa shakes her head, "She won't be a part of it. Abby is visiting the city. Lending her healing talents"

I smirk at her, "Are you afraid of her?" I tease, completely forgetting Echo is standing right in front of us.

Lexa's eyes flash in mock insult and I see her struggle to hide herself behind the commander. She rolls her shoulders back and begins to walk away from us.

"She is your mother, Clarke" she says cooly as she walks, "I'm terrified of her"

Echo laughs with me at Lexa's comment, "I believe we all are, Heda!" Echo calls after her, "She is scarier than ten wanhedas put together"

I nudge the ice warrior and turn to watch lexa walk away with a warm smile at her back. But I stop when I feel echo watching me.

"Why do you even try to hide it?" She asks watching me look blandly out to the harbour instead. I blink back at her.

"Hide what?" I shift uneasy beneath her knowing smirk and clear my throat, "So.. Training?"

Echo's smile widens and she hooks an arm around my neck to pull me close so she can walk me away from the harbour towards the city. The whole way her smile never disappears.

"You and heda are obviously sharing much more than just leadership skills" she hints trying to get me to talk, "Perhaps your _'talks'_ go late into the night. Maybe thats why you _'sleep_ ' the days away"

I roll my eyes at her, "You're completely crazy" I tell her.

"You're right. Clearly you and heda are sleeping together and you're spending your nights jo-" I slap a hand over her mouth to keep her from saying it and look wildly at the people passing around us.

Echo laughs at my reaction, eyes glinting victoriously. I give up then.

"Fine!" I huff at her, "We're sleeping together. Happy?"

Echo nods, "Very. And so is heda by the looks of things. Its time she found something to brighten her days"

"Thanks?" I don't know whether it was a compliment or insult.

Echo rolls her eyes and walks ahead of me to the training field. She approaches the equipment table and picks up a bow laying ready for her. She tests its strength and then collects a quiver of arrows. She shoulders it and walks back to me.

"I have known heda my whole life" she tells me stopping in front of me, "She has been a true friend for years. Believe me, Clarke. You are her greatest happiness"

I feel my heart fill at her words. I'm suddenly too lost for words. Echo smiles like she knows and hands me the bow. I take it from her and move to stand opposite the target dummy at the end of the field. Echo holds out an arrow and I take it from her to nock against the string.

"Ready?" she asks. I nod and pull the string back.

My eyes narrow at my target and my arm begins to shake against the strain of holding the string back. Echo crosses her arms and waits. I breathe slow and loose the arrow, smiling in victory when it strikes home between the dummy's eyes. Echo looks back at it and nods.

"Nearly perfect" she comments.

I stare back at her.

"Are you blind?!" I cry and point at my mark, "That was perfect!"

Echo makes a thoughtful noise and goes to get her own bow. When she comes back she quickly nocks an arrow and looses it in the same motion. I stare at the sound it makes cutting through my arrow so that it sits in its place. She turns to me after and leans on her bow with a smirk.

"Nearly perfect" she repeats nodding at me to try again. I scowl at her. I hate it when she one ups me.

"I think I prefer sparring with you" I grumble nocking a new arrow.

Echo waits for me to be ready to shoot before she leans close all of a sudden to growl in my ear. She laughs when I jump, causing the arrow to fly forward nowhere near the target. I cover my mouth with my hand when it hits a sparring warrior's shield. He pauses in his attack to stare at it. Then he shouts back at us.

"Moba!" I shout back. I feel so incredibly bad, "Im so sorry!"

He continues shouting and I wince while Echo laughs harder the second his opponent takes advantage of his shouting to knock him down.

I spin back to her and throw the bow down when I see her doubled over still laughing.

"Thats it!" I shout and lunge at her.

Echo easily catches my barrel into her and she lets me pin her to the ground before she wrestles me off her. I yelp when she rolls us and sits herself over my waist.

"You need to work on focusing" she tells me pinning me to the floor.

I try wriggling free but her hands are holding mine down tightly, pressing me into the mud.

"You need to stop fighting dirty" I huff back giving in.

Her smirk widens and she releases one of my hands to rub mud into my face with the other. I squeal in disgust and tilt my head to the side to spit it out of my mouth.

"There. Now you may learn something from fighting dirty"

The scowl I trade with her smug look is pure murder. The second I got her off me I was going to kill her. Her eyes twinkle at my silent threat.

"You are so dead!" I shout kicking up with my leg.

It knocks her off me but Echo rolls, yanking me to roll with her until I'm the one sat over her. She smirks at my surprise and throws a punch up. But I dodge it and throw my elbow into her stomach. She coughs winded and I make to climb off her.

Echo trips me up halfway and and lets out a happy laugh as she crawls onto my back and pins me face first back into the mud. I growl beneath my breath when she barks at me to submit. She is so annoying!

"Are you two done rolling around in the mud? I would like a word with my niron"

We stop our fight look up to the warrior walking towards us smiling. Echo nods at Cara and jumps off me. She offers me a hand and yanks me to my feet beside them when I reluctantly accept. Echo turns to Cara after and moves to pull the other girl into her. She's stopped with a firm hand on her chest.

"You look like a mud worm" Cara tells her refusing echo's try to again sneak into her arms. Echo pouts back and nods.

When Cara lowers her hand Echo swiftly moves to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek and pushes her arms around her. Cara looks annoyed for all of five seconds before she melts into the other woman's arms. I can't help but smile at them both.

"Why do I walk here to train and find you wrestling with another woman?" Cara asks leaning away to raise a brow at echo.

The ice warrior swallows and looks back at me. I shake my head. I am not helping her out.

"Training involves wrestling...?" she tries smiling impishly.

Cara rolls her eyes at her lover and turns in echo's arms to speak with me.

"Wanheda" she bows her head respectfully. My good mood drops instantly.

"Please don't bow" I beg her. They both smile at my shyness to accept their respect.

"You are the commander of death" Echo reminds me, "Having others bow to you comes with the job"

"Like I wanted it" I mumble beneath my breath and turn from them to collect my bow from the mud.

I hear cara speak with echo behind me and turn in time to catch her push the ice warrior towards me. I roll my eyes. Here it comes.

"Clarke, I know you don't like speaking of the mountain.." she treads carefuly with her words. Especially when I put the bow down on the table and pick up a throwing knife instead, "I know you hate being reminded of what happened. But I will forever be grateful to you for that night"

Guilt fills me as Im forced to remember what I did. I see their faces again. Contorted in agony and fear.

I shiver and pull my arm back. Echo's hand takes mine down before I can throw my knife and she squeezes it gently.

"You saved my life, Clarke. Mine and so many others" Echo kneels to bow to me and this time I can't tell her to get up. There's a lump in my throat stopping the words.

"But that doesn't stop you shoving me in the mud?" I question half heartedly. Echo starts to smile.

She stands and crosses her arms with a smug look.

"Of course not" she grins and nods to the knife in my hand, "Come on, show me what heda has taught you"

I stare at her, "How did you know she-"

"You're not the only one I train with, Clarke" she shares.

Echo continues to grin and takes a knife up for herself. Before I can say anything she throws it expertly across the field to the dummy, striking it in the heart. I whistle impressed and then flip the knife in my hand. This one I know I've got.

I catch the blade on its point exactly as Lexa had shown me and throw it at the dummy too. Echo scowls and cara laughs when my knife knocks hers free.

"Though clearly Heda only shares her secret skills with you" she grumbles jealously.

I bump my shoulder against hers and grin.

"You have no idea" I smirk handing her another knife.

* * *

"Clarke!"

I stop walking and let out a deep groan as my mom walks up behind me. I dont want to talk right now. Right now I'm sore and aching and I just want to go to bed and curl up in my furs. Was that too much to ask?

I turn to face her and cross my arms. She stares at me. At all the mud on my clothes and face, and the bruises on my arms. She lifts a brow at me but I don't offer an explanation.

"Yes?"

Her brow knits together at my harsh tone. But she brushes it off quickly.

"I'm just about to head home" she tells me giving me a small smile, "I had hoped my daughter would like to talk to her mother before I went. Who knows when we'll see each other next?"

I swallow down the urge to tell her Im hoping its a while. I love my mom but she doesn't understand that I want space from my people. Having her around is just suffocating. Especially when she goes out of her way to get me alone to talk about the mountain. And even more so when she tries to keep me away from Lexa. But she is my mom. I can't not say goodbye.

I gesture for her to walk beside me and keep a brisk pace towards the tower gardens.

"Have you enjoyed your stay in Polis?" I ask leading the way towards the benches.

She takes a seat beside me with a warm smile as she looks around at the flowers around us.

"Its certainly been eye opening" she says looking back at me, "The grounders have a beautiful culture. And a beautiful city"

I nod, "You should see it in spring" I tell her with a smile at her bright eyes as she looks around, "All blooming flowers and colors. You'd love it"

My mom smiles briefly but it fades quick when she takes my hand, "Clarke... When're you coming home?"

She sees me tense up. She tightens her hand around mine. Her eyes say this isn't something I can get away with not answering.

"Oh.. You know... I thought.." I slip my hand out of hers, "I'm sort of needed here still. Lexa-"

Mom rolls her eyes. She starts shaking her head at me to stop.

"Clarke, you don't need to stay because she tells you to. She's not our commander, honey"

 _Yet_ , I think biting my tongue for her continued dislike of the commander.

"Its nothing to do with Lexa. Polis needs an advocate from Skaikru to represent them. So the clans know we pose no threat. And the grounders already know and trust me. Its just easier for everybody if I stay"

I don't tell her about my nightmares. I don't tell her I'm scared of facing them at home. I don't tell her the Ark isn't really even my home anymore. I just meet her worried look for me and stare calmly back, hoping she won't see through me like a mother should.

Mom regards me for a long time before she stands. She lets out a deep breath and pulls me up into her.

"Okay" she sighs rubbing my back, "But I'll miss you, kid. Raven tries but she is no Clarke Griffin"

I roll my eyes and pull her off me with an excuse about needing to clean up. Mom nods and promises me she'll see me soon. I let her hug me one last time and then leave her to walk back into the tower. And all the while my head is racing with the real reasons why I'm avoiding home.

* * *

Lexa smiles at me from her couch the second I invite myself into her room. She'd been peacefully reading. Enjoying her time away from the constraints and responsibility of being commander for a while. And I would feel bad about interrupting that, she rarely gets a moment where she can just be her, but right now I don't care. She's alone and that's all that matters.

"Clarke" she greets warmly as I shut the door.

Lexa sets her book down on her lap. She takes in my dirty clothes and chuckles.

"I see Echo still enjoys making a meal of training warriors" she smirks, eyes flashing over me teasingly.

I start taking steps towards her. She doesn't notice the desperate edge to my walk. Or the hard way I look at her. She picks her book back up and flicks the page over.

"Have you come to take advantage of my bath? Because I warn you. I do not loan it out for free"

I reach Lexa quickly and knock her book out of her hands. She looks up at it flying from her grip and catches my climb over her lap. I ignore the frown she gives me and grab the front of her shirt to pull her from the couch. Her hands grip my hips and she begins to question me when I bend my head down.

She moans startled around my lips pressing hard into hers suddenly. She breathes harshly against me, chest pushing against mine as I lean some more into her.

"Clarke, wait" I ignore her and keep kissing her. She growls, "Hod op!"

I lean away when she pushes on my shoulders and watch guiltily as she pants. She touches a thumb to her lips. She's still frowning at me. She doesn't understand whats brought this on. In the seconds of clarity reaching through the pain in my head I begin to question it myself.

Lexa brushes her hand down my face. Her eyes ask me whats wrong. I look away and shrug.

"I just thought.. My mom's gone back to Arkadia and.. I don't know. Maybe you'd like to celebrate?"

Lexa stares hard at me with my lie. Her eyes looking straight through me. I begin to wriggle off her lap. This was stupid. So stupid.

"Clarke" She whispers my name softly in summons.

I look back at her and start to smile at the slow smirk she gives me as she hooks her fingers under my shirt. Lexa pulls me back to her and slides her hand up under it. I hiss out a breath when she tugs on my chest wrap.

"I would love to celebrate" she husks stretching up to kiss me. Her mouth is hard on mine a moment. Bruising almost. Beneath my shirt her fingers are tracing in teasing circles.

I feel myself push down harder over her, no longer supporting myself because I want to pin her down. Lexa hums against my mouth and pulls her hand away from me to tug my shirt up. I growl when she makes me lean away from her to pull it over my head but she quickly brings me back to her. Her hands run down my naked hips and her fingers pick at the catch on my pants. I kiss her, eager for her to carry on. Eager for her to stop this aching pain in me.

"I enjoy you pouncing on me like this, Clarke" she husks as my lips take up home on the side of her neck, "But, and please don't take this too much to heart, you are filthy"

I lean back and stare down at her. She smiles back at me and drags her finger across my cheek. When she pulls it back its covered in mud. And looking down at her. I see I've completely covered her in it too. I feel like Im being pulled against a riptide the second I come crashing down to reality again. This was incredibly stupid.

"Shit!" I say quickly trying to dust it off her. Its a futile effort. Lexa's skin is covered in it, "I'm sorry"

Lexa chuckles and brings me back down to kiss me. Her lips are gentle on mine before she leans back against the couch with a warm smile for me.

"Don't be sorry" she rubs her thumb through the dirt on my cheek, "But you do need a bath"

She waves towards the room behind her bed and tells me to help myself. I stand up thinking maybe she's right. And maybe a long soak would calm my stress better anyway. It'd certainly save the questions she'd ask if I tried jumping her like that again. Whether she enjoyed it or not.

I take a step around the back of the couch but stop to lean over her. She tilts her head back when I whisper her name and she smiles up at me.

"You're kinda dirty now too" I point out before I kiss her.

I make sure to make it slow and tempting, using my strange upside down position above her to help me. Because suddenly this isn't about needing a distraction. Its about needing warmth and comfort and reassurance. And safety. Everything that makes up this beautiful creature beneath my lips. I just need Lexa.

When I pull away Lexa looks completely dazed. I smile and drag my hand across her shoulders, slowly moving it away from her as I walk towards the bathroom. Her eyes watching me lustfully promise she's about to follow.

I enter the bathroom but stop with the surprise that engulfs me suddenly.

The bath is already full with steaming water. My heart bumps at the rose petals floating along its calm surface and the lit candles dotted on the floor around the tub. Lexa is too thoughtful. And so effortlessly romantic.

I hear her walk up behind me as I pick up the white rose laying on the tub's edge and I smile at the nervous pause she has at the door as I lift the flower to my nose to smell it. Lexa strides over to me as I smile into the pale petals and reaches out to touch my side. My skin immediately tingles under the familiar warmth of hers. My heart bumps heavily in my chest. Aching with this strong emotion I'm feeling for her suddenly. Like a distant nostalgia I'd forgotten. Like somehow I had felt it before even though it was definitely one hundred percent brand new to me.

I swallow, too scared to name it, and put down the flower. For some reason I'm all nerves too as I lean back into her. Like this is our first kiss again and I'm unsure how to proceed without hurting her. And just like that day Lexa is quiet and patient. Like she's nervous too.

"Do you still think I need a bath?" I ask thickly closing my eyes to her slow kisses across my shoulder.

"No" she husks dipping her thumbs into my pants. She starts pulling them down but stops to turn me around to her.

Lexa's eyes are deep and smouldering when I lift mine up. Her smile is wide and soft when she dips her head down to me. She teases her lips against mine, not kissing, just touching, with her nose gently nudging mine in the softest and sweetest of ways. She's never been so calm and gentle before. And it causes the hurting ache to stir sharper. I can't stop the tiny whimper I release for it.

Lexa breathe's a gentle laugh back. Her eyes are an open book as she gazes down at me. Filled with that exact same emotion I'm too scared to show back. It makes my heart flutter and my body ache to rush against hers. To show her I feel it too. Even if my head won't let me say the words.

Lexa smiles with closed eyes at my body's gentle nudge into her and she bends her head against mine. She breathes slowly for a minute and then her palms press harder into my back, bringing me closer.

"You don't need a bath" she whispers and quickly tugs her own shirt over her head before she pulls me against her, "We do"


	4. Chapter 4

"I am Clarke of the Sky people"

Lexa's whispers smother my back, making me shiver. I smile into the furs.

"Ai laik Klark kom Skaikru" I whisper back.

Lexa makes a short sound of approval for my translation and picks another sentence for me.

"I was born among the stars"

"Ai don.. set of kom.. kom..." I frown to myself trying to remember the word for star.

"Skaifaya" She whispers nuzzling my shoulder.

"Skaifaya" I repeat and frown deeper as I digest the word, "Sky fire?"

"Stars are balls of fire, are they not? That sit in the sky?" Lexa kisses my neck when I answer her with silence and gives me another sentence to translate.

"I am a fierce warrior"

I laugh out despite myself, "Yeah, right" I scoff.

Lexa's hold tightens on me, "Say it" she orders.

"Lexa" I shift uncomfortably, "C'mon. Be serious"

"I am serious. Just translate it" she mumbles in my ear, nipping it when I refuse again. I sigh at her and submit.

"A laik...laik..um.." I growl under my breath, "I don't know what 'fierce' is" I tell her shyly.

"Meizen" she answers smiling into my neck.

"Ai laik meizen gona" I answer and then frown, "Wait" I say looking back at her, "That means 'beautiful warrior'" I point out.

"Which is also true" Lexa smirks rolling herself forward a little so she can press her lips against mine.

I let her kiss me. When she moves away I look into her sparkling green eyes and I stroke her cheek.

"Meizen" I whisper. The word didn't really do her any justice. Lexa was far beyond beautiful.

She smiles back at me and kisses my wrist. Then she continues our little lesson with more words and phrases I might need to use when I speak to her people.

I play along happily. I know she enjoys teaching me. And I definitely enjoy hearing her husky morning voice saying things in trigedasleng. Sexy doesn't begin to cover it when Lexa's whispering those strangely alluring foreign words in my ear.

"Are you nervous about today?" she asks after I roll away from her calling for a break. All this translating is making me yawn in her face.

I feel a smile begin at the teasing lilt to her voice. I fight it off and shake my head against the furs and bury myself deeper into them while her fingers continue to follow the skin on my side. They move up over my hip and ribs towards my shoulder, circling it to a slow stop over the bullet scar at the top of my arm. Her thumb brushes against it.

"Your clan is about to join with my people. That doesn't scare you?"

I smile for her worry and shake my head again, "No. You'll lead us but I'm not afraid of that" I look back at her confused eyes and smile, "You're a good leader, Lexa"

She looks thoughtfully back. Flattered even. I turn back with my smile and let out a contented breath. I can feel her questioning my answer and really it amuses me. But I don't call her out on it. I just leave her to her thoughts while I sleepily enjoy her fingers moving over me again.

"Who will Kane bring today?" she asks kissing my shoulder a couple times before she rests back behind me. I happily shift backwards when she pulls me in closer and fold my arms over hers on my waist.

"Bellamy. Maybe Monty. My mom" Lexa growls in my ear and I chuckle, "Hey its been a week. Maybe she'll have taken the silent treatment as a hint and wont talk about the mountain"

Lexa grumbles back, "She can talk about it until the gods raze the earth again. I won't listen"

I smile. Im glad she's sticking to her decision. But at the same time I know my mom. She's not going to give in that easy. She's too stubborn.

I feel its something Lexa should know too.

"You realise this is something that will last for years, right?"

"For your mother's sake I hope you are wrong" she mumbles under her breath. I roll my eyes at her, "Are you happy to be seeing your people again?" she asks quickly before I can tell her off.

The question throws me a little. Am I happy? I frown as I search myself for an emotion that comes close. But all I feel is tense. A suffocating unease. Like something bad is coming with my people's arrival.

"I don't know" I answer her shakily, "I haven't seen them in so long. They probably think I just abandoned them. Or.. chose a side.."

Lexa feels my building stress. Her arms tighten protectively around me and she gently starts kissing my neck to calm me down. It works. But barely.

"After tonight there will be no sides" she tells me, kisses moving up my jawline to my temple. I sigh deeply. I hope she's right.

"So how does this summit work?" I ask her, eager to get off me and my guilty conscience.

Lexa hums behind me and I smile when it tickles against my neck.

"First the clans will come together and agree to skaikru's admission into the coalition. Then the leader of skaikru.." She kisses my temple, "Thats you. Will join hands with the leader of clans-"

"Thats you?" I tease giggling out when she nips my ear for interrupting.

"Thats me" she agrees in a smiling voice as she holds me still.

Lexa's hand moves down to pull my left one free from her arm and holds it up to twist her fingers through. She brings it back to her and kisses my fingertips softly.

"We'll promise an solemn oath in front of everyone to keep the peace between our people. Titus will then probably drone on about the gods. And then its over until the summit tonight. Where you, or a member of skaikru of your choosing, will bow before me and be branded-"

"Branded?!" I yelp suddenly and roll over to her with a hard look, "You never said anything about branding before!"

Lexa breathes an amused laugh for my shock, "Relax, Clarke. Its a small thing. Like a clan brand. It shows others you are under my protection. Thats all"

I settle back down beside her and look down to my arm. I try to imagine having something that represented Lexa on it. Though the idea feels good I just can't imagine the sort of pain I'd have to endure for it. I don't want that. I don't want to be reminded of pain every time I look at it and think of her.

"Clarke?"

I look back when she sits up. Lexa leans towards me and cups my face in her palm. All humour and playfulness is gone from her expression. Now she looks tense, and concerned. It scares me when she looks that way.

"I don't want you to take the brand" she tells me seriously. I feel myself stare back at her.

"Why not?" I ask confused, "Wouldn't it symbolise something more lasting between our people if I had it?"

Lexa stares at me sadly and kisses my head. She rests her lips there and I hear her breathe deeply. Like she's trying to keep calm. My hand comes up to hers on my face. I grip her wrist and ask again. She sighs back.

"I don't want to watch you being marked. Not like that. Like some thing thats now my property" She leans heavier against me, "I will respect your wishes if you want to bear the brand but I hope you choose another to take it in your place. If only to save me seeing you in that pain"

I don't know what to say. I'd expected her to tell me to take it. That it was expected of me and I was weak if I didn't. To hear her hoping I didn't filled me with relief and dizzying confusion. It made that strange ache in my heart come back again. And it hurt to ignore it.

Lexa looks down for me to say something but I have nothing. So I take her hand away from my cheek and hold it tight in mine. I press them together against my shoulder and I nod at her. She smiles then. A wide warm thing that somehow completely eclipses the sun rising brightly through the window behind her back. My breath gets knocked from me seeing it.

I move into her and gently pull her closer, inviting her to lean over me. Lexa's smile is as hot as that sunrise as she rolls to hover above me. It presses eagerly against my mouth as she kisses me deeply. Making me want more.

Lexa moans at the first touch of my tongue wiping along her bottom lip and she growls angrily as she leans away from me.

I look up at her, a little hurt and rejected. Her eyes wash all over me, blazing in apology.

"We have to get up" she tells me in a reluctant whisper.

Lexa looks down on me sadly when I moan frustrated. I can't help it. I don't want to go back to titles and responsibilities yet. I just want us to stay here. As Clarke and Lexa. Just for a little while longer. I don't want to give up the peaceful quiet of it just being us.

But Lexa can't. Today is important and as the commander she has to see everything is prepared for the summit. Her eyes say she wants to stay here too but she knows she can't. Not today.

Lexa doesn't move when I sigh and sit up. Instead she tips her head at me and bends down and kisses me again. Its gentle. And apologetic. It says she'll make up for it.

"Tonight we will celebrate our clans' lasting peace. Together" she whispers kissing me harder a moment before letting me go so she can slip off the bed.

It takes a moment for me to open my eyes and move again once she's gone. My head's spinning a little.

"And Clarke?"

I look to my left where she's just about to walk into her bathroom. She stops with her hand on the wall. A deep smirk on her lips as she looks back over her shoulder at me. Her eyes are dark with mischief as she grazes them over me. She looks at me and its like she's eyeing me up for dinner.

I swallow the rising desire in myself. Its too tempting to give in to that look she gives me. Way too tempting.

"Op nat yu na tag ai tagon hou tu yun skaifayas"

Lexa leaves me to figure out what the hell she just said. I don't know most of the words but I know from the way she smirked it was some kind of promise for later. It makes my body tingle to think so anyway. It also makes me get up to follow her to her bath.

* * *

"Clarke!" Raven grins rushing towards us as fast as her limp will allow.

I beam back at her and after a quick look to Lexa for permission run from the rest of the council congregation to meet the mechanic and sweep her into my arms. She laughs at me slamming into her and squeezes me tightly back.

"Damn! It's so good to see you!" Raven cries out, "Don't tell your mom or Octavia this but I was getting serious Griffin withdrawals"

"Why didn't anybody say you were coming too?!" I cry back completely ecstatic to see her.

"It was a surprise? Duh"

I smile into her jacket and move my head back to look at her. I gently cup her face and laugh.

"You haven't changed at all" I tell her with a quick thought to when exactly the last time I'd seen her was.

My heart wrenches a little remembering. She'd been screaming in agony. Pinned on the surgery table while the mountain men stole her bone marrow.

"Me?" She scoffs not noticing my wincing, "I'm stubbornly archaic. You on the other hand.." She leans back and whistles low as her eyes move down my grounder clothes, "If your raccoon pal there wasn't giving me the total look of death right now I think even I might try to fuck you"

I slap her arm for her teasing but glance over my shoulder to the commander anyway. And Raven's right. Lexa is glaring a little. Her eyes are locked on Raven in warning. When she looks back to me its with glowing possessiveness. I give her a look to calm down and be nice, and turn back to the mechanic as she takes lexa's hint and moves her hands off me.

"Your mom wasn't kidding when she said you'd gone native" Raven grins at me.

"Speaking of my mom..." I look behind Raven at the last couple kids hopping of horses. But she's not there. Raven smiles gently at my worried look.

"She stayed behind" she explains, "Some of us back home are sick"

I step closer and ask seriously, "Sick how?"

Raven shrugs, "Some flu, I guess. I didn't really stick around to ask when she told me to skip dodge with the rest of these guys"

Raven ignores my worrying and scans her eyes all over me again. Like it had been years and not months since she'd last seen me.

"I see you've got a new hairstyle" she says nodding at my braids. I smile back.

"See you've got a new brace" I return. Raven looks down at her leg and nods, "Wicks got to you in the end, huh?" I tease.

Raven rolls her eyes, "Please" she grumbles and flicks her ponytail, "That guy is not worth an hour out of my day"

"Just twenty minutes here and there. Right, Raven?" Octavia smirks catching a bag Monty struggles to lift and throw to her. She walks past us with it slung easily over her shoulder. Lincoln shakes his head after her.

"It's not your place to speak Raven's privacy like that" he tells her sternly.

Octavia shrugs back.

"Like she wasn't about to shout it from the top of the tower anyway"

I chuckle at raven's deep glare for octavia's back. I tap her arm and tell her to chill.

"We'll go to the tower roof and scream her privacy to the city" I tell her mischievously.

Raven begins to grin back.

"I like it when you think evil, griffin"

She turns to slowly walk back to her horse for her things. I follow with an offer to help. But before either of us can even argue about who's gonna carry her bags two of Lexa's warriors step forward to take them for us.

"Okay.." Raven steps back to frown at me, "You didn't tell me you had bell boys here"

A warrior grunts at her. He looks to her disgusted and reaches for his knife. I quickly tell him it wasn't an insult and look back to where the commander is greeting Kane and and Bellamy and introducing them to the ambassadors. I narrow my eyes Lexa's calm talk with them all and she smiles slightly like she knows I'm watching.

"So clearly you're like actual royalty here" Raven's comment turns my attention away. She smirks at me, "Wanna show me around, princess?"

I shake my head with an apologetic look, "I can't. I've got to make sure they don't tear each other apart" I hook my thumb over my shoulder at the council. Raven looks too and sighs. She shakes her head.

"One day you'll get bored of playing peace keeper"

I laugh. If only I were allowed that.

"And do what instead?" I ask her.

Raven sticks her hands into her jacket pockets and grins.

"Blow things up with me"

I smile at the harmless twinkle in her eyes and nod back at her.

"I'd rather she didn't"

Lexa walks to stand beside me. And her presence has an immediate affect. Raven's smile shifts and she stands a little taller opposite the commander. Some of the other kids behind her stop joking around and stand quiet. I hide my smile at it. I still have no idea how Lexa makes people do that.

"Raven" Lexa greets her politely, "How was your travel?"

Raven's look for the commander is tight. She doesn't like Lexa much. She still wore the scars from wrongly being punished. She still hurt over Finn. She was yet to forgive Lexa as I had.

"It was good. A little bumpy"

I notice her hand touch her leg then and immediately frown down at it. I could tell she was in pain, and that the ride here had caused her more than she'd like to mention. I had a horrible feeling I'd be chewing her ear off later when I forced her to let me look at it.

"You'll enjoy it here" Lexa promised Raven gently. From the look in her eyes and the tension in her back I could tell she was trying be nice against instinct. I made a note to thank her later, "There are many things for a creative skaigada like yourself to do"

Raven looks confused and mildly insulted, "Skaigada?" She mutters to me for help.

"Sky girl" I explain and touch Lexa's jacket, "We should head inside. Before they get bored and start showing off to one another"

Lexa's eyes smile back at me, "You enjoyed the knife contest last week"

"Until one went rogue and nearly hit me in the face" Lexa struggles not to smile. I struggle not to hit her, "My people aren't accustomed to your ways, commander. They'll think they're being attacked"

Lexa looks thoughtfully for my formality and then nods, "A good point, Clarke. I shall meet you up there" she looks back to raven and tells her with a smile, "I hope you enjoy your stay in Polis, Raven"

Raven looks a little thrown but nods back. I notice the other ambassadors watching us curiously and quickly bow to Lexa respectfully. Her eyes lock mine in confusion before she looks back at her people. She rolls her eyes and nods to me.

"Wanheda" she says bowing back.

She walks away but I still catch her smirking lowly at her people's whispers. I shake my head at her. She shouldn't have done that.

"Wanheda?" Raven repeats confused again.

I look back to find her frowning after Lexa.

"It's just something the grounders call me" I mumble back.

"Oh. Should I call you it?"

"No" I snap and her frown deepens. I let out a calm breath and tug on her arm to pull her past me, "Go. Explore Polis. Have fun. Just don't blow anything up"

I push her towards the market where the rest of our people are wandering around. She turns back with her hands in her pockets and a grin on her face.

"You know me, Clarke. Me and explosions just happen. It's hard being a total bomb" she winks and twists back to walk towards the others.

I smile after her with a jealous look for their fun.

"I don't usually have a taste for you sky people..."

I jump at echo's sudden appearance at my side, "Jesus! Wear a bell!" I snap at her. She ignores me.

"But that one," she continues and nods towards Ravens slow walk into the market, "I might change my mind for"

I laugh and shake my head at her, "Raven would definitely have her hands full with you" I mutter.

Echo smirks, "Raven" she repeats the name thoughtfully, "Tell me. Is she as free as a bird?"

"Wild and vicious" I warn her noticing that predatory look in her eyes, "Stay away"

Echo looks at my threatening look and starts to laugh. She gently hooks her arm around my neck and pulls me into walking with her towards the tower.

"Don't worry" she tells me, "I have eyes only for my niron"

I nod believing her and point to the tower when she takes her arm away, "Are you coming? No doubt a sword fight is happening up there"

Echo smiles and shakes her head, "I'm to watch over our honoured guests. Heda tells me one in particular is to stay in my sight. A certain bomb expert?"

I roll my eyes and make a note to shout at Lexa later. I point down towards the market where Raven's stood trying to speak with a trader.

"There's your bomb expert" I sigh in great reluctance to the ice warrior.

Echo's eyes light up seeing me pointing out Raven. She immediately grins and heads down the street towards the mechanic. I turn to watch and groan seeing her approach my friend with some joke that gets Raven smiling. I don't doubt Echo's faithfulness to Cara. She's a perfectly loyal girlfriend. I just don't want Raven getting hurt in Echo's games.

"I'm gonna kill Lexa" I mumble turning to the tower again.

* * *

When I enter the throne room I'm unsurprised to find two warriors wrestling on the floor while the ambassadors shout and goad them on. I roll my eyes at them and climb around their fight towards the throne where Lexa is sat smirking at her people's games. Beside her Indra looks just as fed up as I feel.

"I thought you were supposed to be keeping this from happening?" I ask stopping to stand on Lexa's left. She looks back at me with soft eyes and a smile.

"Blake insulted Delphikru" she informed me blandly, "It is only right to allow them to fight out their differences"

"Better they fight now than later tonight when the wine flows free" Indra agreed watching the two men throw punches into one another.

I nod in agreement but narrow my eyes at lexa's smile for me. I follow her eyes flicking away towards my people standing pale and confused in the corner.

I lean into her to whisper, "You're enjoying scaring them"

Lexa smirks, "Maybe" she admits before she stands and gives an order to indra to stop the warriors.

Lexa's hand bumps mine as her general marches forward to break up the fighting. At Indra's furious barks the two men are immediately on their feet with heads bowed in shame. I look from the blood on their faces to the amused glow in the commander's eyes when Kane calms my people. I bump her hand back.

"Don't enjoy it too much" I whisper to her, "After today you don't get to scare them anymore"

I move away from her then to take my place in the crowd of ambassadors. Lexa's eyes stay on me a moment before she waves at Titus to begin.

"Tonight, blood will join with blood!" he announced through a clenched jaw. Clearly he still believed this was a bad idea.

The flame keeper turns to face me and raises his hand. He nods me forward. With Lexa's reassuring nod I start walking towards him.

"Wanheda, with your blessing skaikru will leave its roots with the skies and take up new ones with the ground"

Lexa strode forward as he spoke, coming to stand opposite me with Titus between us. He takes our hands and holds them tight in his own. He looks up towards the ceiling.

"With the gods' blessings, this bond will hold forever" Titus' head drops to look around at the silent people watching us, "With the clans blessings, brothers and sisters shall be made. And peace will be had"

The ambassadors all nod. Lexa's eyes hold mine when we both hear Titus sigh in defeat.

"Commander.." He nods to her and releases her hand. She reaches out with it to grip my arm.

"As commander of the blood, I swear this peace will stand" she announces strongly and squeezes my arm.

I hide my smile and grip her arm back, speaking out before Titus could prompt me. To Lexa's amusement and his irritation.

"As the commander of death, I swear this peace will stand" I call squeezing her arm back.

Lexa's eyes brighten down at me. She rubs her thumb against my arm and gives me a proud look. I want to smile back at her but I know I can't.

Titus looks completely miserable when we turn together to look at him to continue. He looks back to the ambassadors and my people and announces the formal ceremony would take place later tonight.

"Under the moons blessing skaikru will bear heda's mark!" he called in a fierce voice.

The ambassadors kneel and bow to their commander. After a quick nod from me my people do the same. I look back to Lexa as Titus goes down too and I share a brief smirk with her. It felt way too good to share her power like this.

Lexa squeezes my arm again before she orders them all rise. Her eyes are gentle on her people as tells them to enjoy their day before the ceremony. They bow again before leaving the room.

Her grip on my arm tightens when I let go of her to lead my people out. I look back and she shakes her head with a look for me to stay. I nod back and tell Kane to take the others to the ground.

"You're not coming?" Bellamy asks confused for my staying while Kane begins ushering others out. He eyes the commander a little before staring at me to answer him.

"I've got a matter to discuss with the commander" I say and turn round to give them all a slight smile, "Go!" I shooed, "You have a city to explore"

Octavia's practically vibrating with excitement to show our people around. She grabs her brother's arm and yanks him after her with a massive grin. I stop Lincoln's follow after them.

"Keep an eye on Echo" I order him seriously.

He nods and hurries after the group.

"And somebody make sure Raven hasn't blown anything up!" I call after them.

I sigh tiredly but smile at their excited laughter as they rush to explore polis. Lexa's smiling down at me when I turn back to her.

"What?" I ask smiling back at her when she excuses her guards. Lexa strokes my cheek affectionately.

"You act like such a mother to them all. Even the ones older than you"

"If I didn't we'd still be at war" I remind her as I stride around her throne to the balcony behind it.

The light breeze catches my hair as I step outside. I look down out at polis in the summer light. It looks so calm and peaceful. Like a world millions of miles away from any war and any pain.

I walk forward to the edge of the balcony and glance down at the terrifying space between myself and the ground below before I lean my arms against the wall and tip my head back to look up at the sky. Its still amazes me that I'm no longer up there.

"Do you miss the sky?" Lexa asks creeping up behind me.

I straighten back up the second she stops directly behind me. My back brushes her front and her hands reach out to rest on my hips. She rests her chin on my shoulder and we both look out at her city together. I shake my head at her question.

"Sometimes when you look at it I believe different" she whispers into my ear.

She moves a hand down to my arm. Her thumb presses over the spot she'd held before during our oaths. I hear a sad wash in her voice and it makes me rest back into her. I lean my against her shoulder and lock eyes with her.

"I belong here" I tell her seriously, "The ground is my home"

Lexa looks down at me, staring as if to seek some lie in my voice. She nods when she sees I honestly mean it and she kisses my exposed throat gently.

"I'm glad you believe so" she mutters moving her lips up my cheek to kiss my head, "Because I won't let the stars reclaim you"

I chuckle and wrap my arm over hers crossing my stomach, "You're going to fight them for me, huh?"

I feel her smile against my skin before she answers, "I will fight any who dare take you from me, Clarke. Man, star, demon or beast. None shall escape my sword"

I feel myself smile then. She looks so serious. And it sends my heart a little crazy. I push that aching emotion down again and reach a hand up to tangle my fingers through her braids so I can pull her down to me.

"I'll fight too" I whisper to her between kisses, "Man, star, demon, beast.. Even Indra if I have to"

Lexa laughs and moves her head back to look down at me again. Her eyes are alight with amusement.

"Truly I am blessed to hold one brave enough to take on Indra kom Trikru"

I roll my eyes at her, "She's not that scary"

Lexa holds me to her, still chuckling, "Brave or naive" she amends cheekily.

I slap her arm and turn my focus back to the city while she begins to whisper in trigedasleng about how she intended to fight the stars and sky. I smile at her stories and close my eyes after a while to let her voice lull me into complete calm. For a while there's no sides and no problems. No commander or Wanheda. Its just me and Lexa.

And its perfect.

"Heda?" Titus calls out from the throne room behind us.

Or it was.

Lexa's hold loosens and she looks behind herself. I feel my smile drop. In seconds our peace is shattered and we're reminded again of our duty. I pull away from Lexa and watch the weight of the commander fall back onto her shoulders. Its a look I'm beginning to hate. When she looks back at me I know she hates it too.

"Clarke-" she begins but gets interrupted. Lexa sighs at her flame keeper's continued summons and strokes my hair when I look away annoyed.

"We'll speak soon" She promises cupping the back of my neck gently to pull me close enough so she can press a quick kiss to my head, "We'll go down to the harbour again. Just the two of us. And I will tell you how I plan to forge you a throne out of the stars I'll slay"

I smile and nod at her. Lexa wears a light one back as she begins to turn away.

"Don't let raven blow anything up" she begs giving me a commander's look.

"Not even if I want to?" I tease half heartedly. Lexa flashes me a smile.

"Especially if you want to. I want you whole, clarke. I can do nothing with little pieces of you"

Titus barks impatiently for Lexa again and this time she growls. I smile at her and ask if me and Raven can blow Titus up for her. She gives me a considering look but doesn't answer. Just walks into the throne room to scold the flame keeper for interrupting her meditating.

I smirk after her.

Titus is right.

I am definitely corrupting that woman.


	5. Chapter 5

**(Sorry! I've been super busy! We're starting to hit zombie territory next chapter. So buckle up!)**

* * *

Kane stands tall as Lexa points at the fire and he quickly rolls up his sleeve. I swallow scared seeing the iron come out of the flames. It looks like it's going to be so painful. It makes me feel terrible for asking him to take it.

"Wear my mark proudly, Markus kom Skaikru" Lexa calls across the room, nodding at the warrior holding the iron.

He looks to Kane to make sure he's ready before he presses the white hot design into kane's forearm. I swallow the need in me to flinch at the look of agony on kane's face. His eyes squeeze shut as the iron sizzles against his skin and his jaw clenches tight. But he never screams out. It impresses the other clans. And better, it impresses Lexa. I can't stop the smug smile I get watching her lips lift in surprise.

"Brave" Indra comments lowly as she watches. A glimmer of pride in her eyes as she watches Kane be branded. Lexa nods.

"And strong" Lexa agrees looking back to me with an approving smile.

I nod back at her and turn back to watch Titus closely assessing Kane's arm. He inspects the sore skin and nods back to his commander, confirming that its done.

"Ambassadors to the blood!" She calls out, "Welcome your fellow clan!"

The ambassadors walk forward to me and take it in turns to clasp my arm and kneel at my feet. I look to Lexa when it makes me uncomfortable but her eyes locking mine tells me I have to deal with it. I swallow my unease and force myself to accept them all.

When the last ambassador retreats from me Lexa walks to my side and tells her people to celebrate with their new brethren.

"Tonight we celebrate our peace" she tells them smiling finally when they cheer back at her.

Lexa takes my wrist through the chanting that follows and leans close to whisper in my ear an apology to leave and a promise to speak later. I nod at her and she squeezes my arm before dropping it to walk towards her nightbloods. Across the room I see Titus shadow her. I roll my eyes and walk towards my own people with a guilty smile for Kane as I approach. I stop behind Lincoln healing his arm.

"Is it too soon for me to apologise?" I ask him, wincing with him when Lincoln spreads a salve over the burn. Kane smiles at me tiredly and shakes his head.

"It's an honour to hold something that symbolises this friendship" he tells me looking down at his arm proudly. Lincoln smiles at him.

"You'll wear it well, Markus" he told him kindly as he bandages Kane's arm, "The commander couldn't have asked for a better representative for her new clan"

"Well" Kane huffs and glances back at me, "I can think of one person"

I smile and tell him he's wrong, "You were born for this job, Kane"

"I agree with Clarke" Lincoln nods, "We each are given a path in this life. Lexa is the commander. Clarke is wanheda. I am a warrior and healer. You, Markus, are a keeper of the peace. This world needs more like you"

Lincoln bows respectfully to both of us then, with a slight smile as he finishes tying off kane's arm. Then he wordlessly slips away to find octavia. Kane just smiles after him, watching him with a look similar to one a proud father gives his son. I watch him proudly too. He's come a long way since being councilman Kane.

"I wish your mom could be here" He tensed up and his eyes flew back to me instantly, "She'd be proud of you, Kane" I tell him gently.

He nods with a distant look down at his arm, "I think you're right" He mumbles brushing his thumb against the bandage. Then he smiles, "She'd have probably told the commander to brand the other arm too"

I smile at him knowing he was right. Vera would have seen it as double honour to bear two brands.

"Hey kane? Why isn't my mom here?" His eyes shoot back to me again, this time nervous. I swallow my worry down, "Raven said something about flu?"

Kane starts to tell me but a loud yell breaks over his answer. We both look over my shoulder towards the corner of the room where our people are standing looking around embarrassed for Raven's continued hollering.

"Clarke!" Raven calls my name shrilly through the crowd, "We're toasting! Get your ass over here!"

I roll my eyes for her bad timing and excuse myself knowing she'll only walk over if I fail answer her summons. Kane just grins and nods me off. I pass Indra as I leave him and I smile at the bright greeting she calls approaching him. I silently laugh inside my head. Never in a million years would I have penned those two down as friends.

I dodge around ambassadors and warriors as I make my way to the corner where my friends are stood drinking and laughing. I stop to observe them a moment. They all look so happy and carefree. Just peacefully celebrating with the grounders. For once my two worlds are coexisting and its nice.

"Clarke!" Raven shouts catching my eye.

She and octavia rush to me and both of them grab my arms to pull me to the others. A goblet gets pressed into my hand and I'm forced to stand there as Raven directs the toast.

"So! I'm gonna say it cause this elephant is hitting a bitching size. Clarke," she slings her arm around my neck and drunkenly grins, "You saved us, you ditched us-"

"Ouch, Raven" Octavia mumbles into her wine.

"And then," Raven carries on louder over the others' warnings for her to stop, "You saved our sorry asses all over again. Honestly, none of us would be here right now without you. We owe you so much and I'll be the first one to kick ass if anybody here says they're not grateful. Because I definitely am. So.."

She hold her goblet up and grins around at everybody.

"To Clarke! For being a total badass princess!"

"Clarke!" The others agree clashing goblets before drinking.

I force a smile round at them and tip my goblet to them. In my heart I can't accept their thanks. Not after what I did to deserve it.

The night carries on and everybody laughs and smiles and drinks. I find myself in multiple conversations with the other ambassadors who are curious to know what I intend to do now I'm under Lexa's leadership. And the answer's always the same.

"As heda commands" I say smiling honestly.

But their looks back at me suggest they're suspicious. I don't let it get to me. I know its going to take time for them to trust us completely.

Soon the grounders become drunk and try to show off to one another. The sounds of their insults to one another as they fight echo through the throne room. It gives me a headache.

I excuse myself from talks with the flounderkru ambassador and walk to the throne dais to sit down. Echo wanders over soon after with a smile. She sits beside me and sighs.

"These celebrations grow more tiresome the more of them I see" she tells me bumping my knee, "You look as if you share the feeling"

I nod, "A little" I admit.

Echo smiles in sympathy and looks away to my people.

"Raven seems very happy" she comments nodding to the mechanic's wide smile as she dances with Harper.

"Raven seems very drunk" I correct seeing the bottle of Monty's moonshine swinging loosely in Raven's hand. Echo smirks a little.

"She cannot be both?" She asks peering back at me.

I tilt my head at her and question her smile.

"What do you want with her?" I ask her bluntly, "You've got a girlfriend"

Echo looks surprised and I realise I came off as pretty hostile. She tilts her body round to face me. Her expression displays her complete submission. I hate how I like it.

"I am simply curious, Clarke. I haven't met one like Raven before. But if it brings you stress I will keep my distance"

She holds her hand up to me then with her pinkie extended. I blink surprised at the sky gesture. She smiles.

"Raven taught me the promise of pinkies" she explains.

I can't help but laugh out. She has no idea how cute she looks trying to pinkie promise like a kid. Her brow creases in confusion for my laughter. Her eyes shoot a little angrily. I just shake my head and curl my little finger around hers.

"Okay" I tell her with a smile, "Deal"

I let go of her hand and take a sip of my wine. My eyes move around the room while I swallow. From Kane and Indra laughing, to Bellamy arm wrestling with Blake, to Octavia sneaking off with Lincoln, to Raven and Harper explaining truth or dare to some curious warriors. From over here it all looks way too easy. I just hope it lasts.

"Wait a second" I say realising something. It causes Echo to back at me in concern, "What'd you and Raven pinkie promise?"

I don't trust that smirk she gives me as she stands up and walks away towards Cara. It immediately has me worrying. I'd have to ask Raven in the morning once she's sober enough to remember.

I sigh tiredly as I return to watching the others. My eyes drift bored over grounders and skaikru until they settle on my friends again. They're pulling the grounders into a game. I roll my eyes at them. This'll end badly.

Somebody starts tugging on my fingers while I watch raven laugh as she performs a new dare.

"Wanheda?" A little voice mumbles.

I look away from raven attempting to steal a guard's knife and down to the young nightblood stood beside me. I smile at Jonah. He's the youngest of Lexa's noviciates. And the cutest. He rubs his eyes and leans heavily against my leg. The way he huffs tells me he's close to passing out.

"Are you tired, Jonah?" I ask and he nods.

I smile and open my arms and let him climb up over my lap. I tuck him up against my chest and wrap my arms around him, gently rocking him as we watch our people continue to party.

"Aden says you are heda's greatest warrior" Jonah mumbles into my chest.

I look down at his half closed eyes and stroke his messy brown hair gently.

"I wouldn't believe everything Aden tells you, Jonah" I mumble back to him, "I'm not a warrior"

"But Aden said you are!" he half cries. I kiss his head and hush him gently.

"Aden is half right" I tell him with a slow smile as I stare vacantly at the floor, "I am Heda's.." I glance back at Jonah's confused frown and squeeze him gently, "Would you like to hear a story about the sky?"

Of course he nods. Sometimes I believe the nightbloods live for my stories.

I begin to tell him about space. And slowly his little body goes limp in my arms while I speak. His gentle breaths warm against my neck with his sleeping soundly against me. I hold him to me and continue to rock him while he dreams. I don't have the heart to wake him. So I keep talking. Telling him all about growing up on the Ark and living in space, and all the games I played with the other kids. And while Im talking Im looking around at those kids. Im wondering how the hell they grew up so fast.

I stop talking after a while. My eyes have found Lexa out in the crowd. She looks bored listening to Titus talk. So does Aden at her side. It amuses me because usually the pair of them are much more collected in public. Lexa's attention moves from the flame keeper to scout around the room. They quickly exchange serious looks with her guards and roll disapproving when she sees what my people are up to. Then they stop and lock on me sat by her empty throne with one of her nightbloods.

My heart flips questioningly while she stares over at me, and her eyes flash a little like she knows. She looks down to the boy asleep in my arms and shoots me a quick look of question. I just shrug back and kiss the top of Jonah's head, eyes locked on hers so she knows I wish it was her I was kissing instead.

Lexa's eyes soften and she smiles back to me but its gone instantly when she turns back to Titus' conversation. I tell myself not to take it to heart. But its hard.

"It looks like somebody cannot handle his water" Echo jokes pulling my attention from the commander to the Ice warrior's walk towards me with her girlfriend.

Cara knocks Echo's side with her elbow and smiles down at Jonah asleep in my arms. She asks if I want her to take him to bed for me. I shake my head.

"I'll do it. I don't want to wake him" Cara just nods, "Could you help me round up the other kids?" I ask, glancing over to the stairs where a few of them are slumped against one another asleep.

Cara smiles and turns to her girlfriend, "You heard wanheda" she grins wickedly, "Go catch a child"

Echo moans, "You know natblidas do not like to be caught. They love to be chased"

"They love cuddles more" I share with her and carefully stand with jonah cradled in one arm to push her off towards the kids with the other.

Echo groans back at me and reluctantly goes to collect the kids. I look back to Cara after and thank her. She just bows her head and carefully navigates herself through the drunk warriors after Echo.

I look around at all the adults celebrating after. My eyes search for Lexa again but she's disappeared. Probably to talk to her guards or a clan leader. I let out a disappointed breath. I'd hoped to talk to her at least once tonight. I tell myself to quit sulking and tighten my hold on Johah before I start making my way through the crowd. After a lot of shaking my head to a few invites to talk and dodging around my own people I finally get to the door and slip out of it.

I breathe deeply the second we reach the clean cold air outside. Jonah stirs in my grip and shivers. I tuck him up closer and turn towards the stairs, stopping suddenly when I see Kane speaking with somebody down the hall. I watch them a moment. It looks like a serious conversation. Kane looks worried. I start walking towards him. I don't like the way he runs a hand down his face. Like something bad has happened.

"Kane" I call as I near them.

Kane looks up and sees me. His eyes immediately shoot to his friend and he whispers quickly for them to leave. I understand why when kane has to stop the man passing around him in a bid to come at me.

"Jasper!" I whisper in total shock.

I look him over, taking in the short hair and thinned body. His face is pale and his eyes are dark and ringed. He's shaking. And sweating. He looks ill.

And incredibly pissed.

He stares angrily at me and starts to walk forward again. Kane shoves him back and orders him sternly to go.

"Jasper!" he barks in warning.

Jasper's eyes slot back to him and then back to me. He seems to calm down a little when he notices the boy clinging onto me. Kane calls his name again, ordering him out. Jasper's eyes stare at mine in pure hate. And its terrifying.

"Im going!" he growls back at Kane, "I'm done hanging around backstabbing murderers anyway"

His eyes lock mine before he turns on his heel and yanks kane's hand off his shoulder. I watch him storm off. I feel my heart pounding in my chest. I feel a pain grip my mind. I should talk to Jasper. I should explain. I should apologise.

"Jasper.." I start walking after him but he ignores me, "Jasper, wait!"

"Clarke" Kane stops me, "Leave it. He just needs time"

I look up at his pitying expression and swallow my guilt. I nod at him and brush my hand across my cheek to wipe the tears away.

"What was he doing here?" I shakily ask. Kane looks down at me and sighs.

"Delivering a message" I stare at him and he reluctantly tells me, "I need to get back to the Ark. More of our people are sick. And Abby can't handle everything alone. Can you tell the commander for me?"

"Yeah, but-"

Kane squeezes my arm in thanks, "Thank you, Clarke. I'll send for the others in a couple days. Hopefully this sickness would have broken by then"

"But-"

He rushes off before I can ask what exactly is going on. And it worries me. What kind of sickness was it? And was my mom safe?

I stare hard after Kane's hurried leaving and frown to stop the headache when my head spins obsessively with what might be happening back at the ark. Its enough to make me shake. I don't like it. Something bad was happening. I could feel it.

Jonah whimpering into my neck makes me remember I'm supposed to be putting him to bed. I pull my eyes away from the now empty corridor to his curling his body closer into my chest. My lips lift into a brief smile that aches a little in the corners.

"C'mon, little one" I murmur with gentle kisses to his little face when he moans at the slight rock of my walk. I walk fast to get him to bed quicker, and to stop myself thinking about things.

We go down a couple levels to where the tower is a whole lot more quiet. The few guards dotting the way to the nightbloods' rooms nod as I pass. One or two even smile at the sleeping child in my arms.

When I finally enter the room I find it already in use. Cara and Echo have already dropped off most of the other kids. Aden's the only one missing and as Lexa's favourite I had no doubt that he was sticking close to her tonight. It made me smile to think of her giving him tips between her talks with ambassadors.

"There we go" I whisper tucking Jonah into his bed. He wriggles a little as I pull the furs over him before finally settling on his front. I kneel beside his bed and stroke his hair to calm him back into sleep.

 _What's going on?_ My thoughts whirl against my control, _Is mom okay? And Jasper..._

He'd looked so mad. Like he wanted to kill me.

I shake out of my thoughts when Jonah moans softly. I look down and wipe the tear off his cheek. I didn't know I'd been crying.

"Reshop, strikon" I tell him smiling as I lean down and press a kiss to his cheek. He stretches a little and I lean away to watch him roll around beneath the furs with his thumb in his mouth. I can't help but grin at him. He's adorable.

"Clarke" A voice calls from the door. Softly to avoid waking the nightbloods.

The dormant butterflies in my stomach flutter to life while she walks silently into the room. I feel my skin roll in anticipating tingles. The same thing it always does whenever she's near.

Lexa crouches beside me, one hand sliding up my back to slip through the braids covering the back of my neck. Automatically I lean my head back into her touch.

"You're missing the celebrations" She whispers leaning even closer. I nod.

"All the drunken talk wore me out" I tell her with a slight smile. Lexa hums and I shiver closing my eyes to her softly nuzzling my neck, "What's your excuse, heda?"

Lexa reaches up with her hand and wraps it around the other side of my neck. Her thumb strokes up and down my throat a couple times and I feel the vibration of her next hum grind softly through her lips into my skin. I have to focus on breathing straight when I feel the edges of her teeth just scrape into the skin on my jaw.

"Come" she whispers, not offering me an answer at all. Instead she pulls herself back onto her feet and stands waiting for me to follow.

I huff out a little frustrated and kiss jonah's head again before I whisper a goodbye and follow lexa out of the room. She turns while I shut the door behind me and leans against the wall beside it will a tilted head and a hitched smile. I give her a waiting one back.

"What does 'sweet dreams' mean?" she asks, eyes alight with the same curiosity she shows whenever she has a question about my people and our ways. I smile affectionately at her.

"Its just a saying. It means I hope you dream of good things"

Lexa nods in understanding, "You skaikru" is all she mumbles back. I roll my eyes at her.

"Where's Aden?" I ask quietly remembering he was still missing.

"He's participating in a skaikru game" she tells me smirking. I groan back.

"Please tell me its not truth or dare" Lexa nods and I groan again, "I'm gonna kill Raven"

Lexa smiles and reaches out and slips her arms around me. She pulls me against her and bows her head down to rest against mine. I close my eyes. For the first time all night I feel completely calm and at peace. Lexa's deep breath out suggests she feels the same.

"I was looking for you" she whispers finally answering my first question. Her hand touches my cheek. Her skin sets fire to my own, "Echo said you'd run away. And had taken one of my nightbloods as a trophy for your victory over us"

I smile and open my eyes. Hers are still closed. She's waiting patiently for me to respond, with a happy smile flickering in length. Like she's already amused with what I'll say. It makes my heart bump fondly.

"And you came to get justice?" I ask playing into her hands eagerly.

Lexa starts to grin. Her head tips and her lips brush against mine.

"I came to offer myself in Jonah's place. Your trophy should stand as tall as your victory, Wanheda"

I tense up suddenly. Suddenly I can't breathe. Why'd she have to say that?

Lexa's mouth moves teasingly against my own. But I can't smile like she wants me to. Instead I lean away. Her eyes open immediately and her head tips confused when I pull her hands off me.

"Clarke?"

I stare hard at the floor, "We need to get back to the celebrations" I mumble to her, "Before anybody realises we're missing"

I turn to go but she pulls me back to her. Lexa smiles down at me and strokes my cheek.

"They won't miss us. I promise you. What's really on your mind?"

Her fingers move down my face and tip my chin up when I don't answer. The look she gives me tells me I have to tell her. Before she assumes the worst. I breathe against the throbbing in my chest and decide I can't keep this a secret.

"I saw Jasper" I mumble so quietly its nearly inaudible. I'm hoping she doesn't hear it.

She frowns, "The boy from your kru?"

I let out a quick breath. Of course she heard me.

"Yeah" I pull Lexa's hand away from me again, "The one who hates me because I killed his girlfriend in mount weather"

Lexa looks down at me and I see the lights go on behind her deep stare for me. Straight away she tries to comfort me but I pull her off. I don't deserve it.

"Clarke.." Her hand takes mine and she slips up against me, knowing her touch is calming for me. Her eyes look down at me gently and I can tell what she's about to say. I brace myself.

"You did what you had to do. _We_ did what _we_ had to do"

 _Doesn't mean it was right,_ I think bitterly.

I shake my head and force a smile, "You know what? You're right"

I ignore the untrusting look she's giving me for my cold response and press my hand against her side. I don't want to talk about the mountain and all the death I'd caused, all the residing pain. Talking was reliving. And reliving meant dying on the inside. Again and again. I couldn't handle that. Not tonight.

"Didn't you promise we'd celebrate tonight together?" I ask her inching closer with my fake smile and slipping my fingers across the skin on her collarbone to her shoulder. There I look down and I snag the thin material holding her dress up. My fingers loop beneath it and slip it down her arm. I look her over after that, and really take her in.

"You look..."

I don't know what to say. She looked beyond stunning in her dress with her sleek brown hair draping over her shoulder. She looks way more feminine like this. But still completely deadly too. It knocks my breath away.

"Meizen" I husk deeply.

Lexa begins to smile. Her green eyes smoulder at me. She bends her head down and nods.

"As do you, Clarke" she whispers brushing her thumb across my cheek. Her eyes follow its movements along beneath eye and I see them glimmer across the warpaint staining my skin. She stops her stroking after a moment and simply stares down at me, soft green eyes flicking all over my face. She looks as speechless as she had when I'd walked into the throne room for the ceremony. It has me tingling all over.

Lexa tips my chin slightly when I glance down at her lips, making me look at her. And there's there it is again. That look in her eye. The deep one full of so much emotion it hurts to look at.

"I'm certain I promised you more than just us celebrating" She husks, kissing me before I have a chance to look away. I smile at the coy suggestion in her voice. She knows exactly what I want.

"What was that other thing you said this morning?" I ask curiously around her kisses. It's been eating at me all day.

"Op nat tu yu tag ai tagon hou yu skaifayas" she whispers and I nod.

Lexa doesn't explain straight away. Instead she kisses me, softly, and roughly, and gentle all at once. It makes my heart jolt in my chest and the butterflies storm crazy inside me. She slows down at the soft grunt I make at being pushed into the wall. Her hands rub my sides before settling on my hips, pulling them into her own. I don't stop myself moaning. I can't. The thinness of both our clothes mean I can feel a lot more of her than normal.

 _She may as well be naked against me,_ I think whimpering inside my head. It had me moaning all over again. Lexa naked was something I desperately needed to see. Right now.

Lexa smirks against me with my continued vocals and moves her mouth down to my throat. My hands squeeze her arms with the torture.

"Lexa" I stiffle my next moan and husk a quick beg to know what she said already.

Lexa breathes an amused laugh against my throat. She leans away and looks into my eyes. She kisses me again, gently this time, and holds me close to her.

"Op nat tu yu tag ai tagon hou yu skaifayas" she whispers again taking hold of my hand.

She begins steering me away from the wall and walking me down the hall. I squeeze her hand when she stays quiet. She squeezes it back, ignoring my demanding curiosity.

"What does it mean, Lexa?" I ask swallowing the low ache beginning in my belly when I realise she's not leading me back to the party but towards her personal rooms.

Lexa is quiet until we make it to her door. She opens it and leans against the jamb with a cool smile for me. Lexa tugs me closer and then outright yanks me into her. She catches me when I stumble forward and wraps her arms around my waist, with a grin when I flick a brow at her.

"It means..."

She leans her head down and kisses me so slow I think I might just die. Her arms squeeze me tight while her tongue drives me crazy. Lexa pushes forward and I walk back, hands holding her securely to me. I hear the door being kicked shut and I feel her fingers pinching at the pelt covering my midsection as she continues pushing me back through the room.

She bites my lip the same moment my legs hit her bed. The surprise has me opening my eyes in time to catch her fall on top of me over the furs. Lexa smirks down at me and kisses my chin as her hand sneaks up my thigh beneath the pelt dress. I moan and arch up at the first touch of her fingers grazing over my folds.

"It means tonight you'll call my name home to your stars" she breathes smirking deeper the second she slips her fingers down and inside me. I cry out in surprise before I grab her by the back of the neck and yank her down to kiss her.

* * *

Lexa's laying over me gently kissing up my shoulder and neck while I stare vacantly up at the ceiling, feeling her sweet kisses on my skin but nothing else. She carries on, unknowing that she'd lost me minutes ago. I'd tried my best to hide the conflict happening inside me. I didn't want her to worry. And for the most part I'd let her distract me away from anything that wasn't her making good on her promise for us to celebrate this new peace together. But it didn't take long after she'd collapsed panting hard against me for my head to drift. In the dark silence I was reminded of my demons again.

I'm thinking hard about my people. And Jasper. And the mountain. I'm trying to stop the flashing memories of that night from reaching me but it doesn't quite work. I keep seeing hints of it. I keep seeing him, weeping, holding mia's body up. I keep seeing the absolute pain in his eyes when he looks up at me and screams at me. Remembering shocks me sharply with pain. It makes me flinch.

Lexa's lips stop when an especially vivid image has my hands clenching in her damp hair and over her glistening back. I can feel her peering back at me before she touches my cheek. I flinch again and tip my eyes down from the ceiling to meet hers. She moves to lean over me when she sees me purse my shaking lips.

"What's wrong?" She asks rubbing her thumb along my cheek concerned, "Where did you go just now?"

Her eyes search me, begging desperately for me to explain. I shake my head. I don't want to talk about it. She frowns at me but a knock at the door saves me from further questions.

Lexa huffs while I jump at the sudden noise. Her thumb grazes my mouth and she gives me a swift look that says she's not done with me yet. I didn't expect her to be. She gets off the bed when I look back up at the ceiling with my thoughts and I hear her swiftly dressing herself to answer the door.

I roll my eyes when I hear titus' voice the second the door opens. He's seriously starting to push my patience with his midnight visits. Clearly Lexa feels the same because she scolds him instantly for interrupting her rest.

"Forgive me, Heda" he says with no apology in his voice at all, "But the scouts have returned from mount weather"

I sit up and immediately begin dressing. The scouts returning early from the patrol guard could only mean trouble. When I walk around the bed to the door I can see Lexa whispering with Titus. Quietly like she doesn't want me to hear what they're saying. Instantly I'm worried. The stress that had gradually been building through the day heightens dramatically. It tells me something bad has happened. Something incredibly bad.

I ignore it and I walk straight up to the two grounders without caring that titus will finally know about us. Im sick of hiding anyway. Lexa's voice lowers even more hearing me approach. I stare moodily at her back a second. I know she's trying to hide the report from me. It annoys me how she thinks I can't handle it.

Titus hushes up the second he sees me come closer. His eyes meet mine coldly. And I return it. I'm not his biggest fan either. He looks away after twitching his mouth in disgust. I see him shoot lexa a deeply disapproving look and then he turns and leaves. Lexa closes the door behind him.

"What'd the report say?" I ask crossing my arms over my chest ready to give her a strong look to tell me the truth.

Lexa turns and sighs when she's sees it.

"Don't lie to me" I warn her.

Her eyes cut a little cold, like I've insulted her. She comes to stand in front of me and looks down into my eyes before she tells me.

"Skaikru have been sighted attempting to enter the mountain" she tells me straightening herself into her commander's stance.

I feel my arms come down. I stare at her.

 _My people did what?!_

Lexa sighs heavily, "The boundary zone my warriors set up kept your people away for a couple days. But the scouts saw a team of them enter it a few days ago. The warriors on guard were assaulted in their sleep" Lexa lifts her chin. I can see the anger in her eyes, "It seems your people are relentless when it comes to finding ways around orders"

 _And not one night into our alliance,_ I think bitterly past her barbing comment. I can't help but think its typical of my people to ruin a good thing.

I nod through my anger at my people. I know it matches Lexa's anger entirely. We didn't work our asses off for peace for this.

"And what do you intend to do now?" I ask lifting my chin and meeting her gaze with a strong look to say I'm ready to handle the bad news.

Lexa looks down at me in studying silence before she answers.

"I intend to listen to you" I stare at her in surprise and she slowly smiles down at the floor as she takes a step closer, "They are your people, Clarke. Tell me what you think is a suitable punishment"

"They were your orders that were disobeyed" I mumble reluctant to have any part in this sentencing, "You should punish them how you want to punish them"

Lexa's expression softens some more, "You and I both know you don't want that" she tells me gently and raises her hand to squeeze my shoulder.

"Of course I don't want it!" I snap and turn away from her, "But they ignored your orders and broke the agreement. And then they kept it from us.. " I shake my head, "I can't believe Kane went ahead with the summit after that"

I exhale in resignation and tell her numbly, "They deserve whatever you think is best"

"So if I ordered the deaths of all of skaikru.." Lexa pauses hearing me suck in a sharp breath, "That would not bother you?" She asks me in a knowing voice. She knew it would.

I look up at the window and stare out at the dark starry canvas hovering above polis. My eyes search the spot where the Ark used to sit. And I wonder what it must be like to be up in the silence of it all again. To be above all this constant fighting.

 _Peaceful_ , I decide staring jealously at the sky.

"This was my mom" I whisper angrily, "That's why she didn't come with the others today. She used the summit as a distraction to get what she wanted"

I feel myself shaking. I'm so incredibly mad. How could my mom do that? How could she endanger our people like that?

"How did I not see this coming?" I question aloud. I

'm angry at myself. So damn angry. My mom had warned me it wasn't over. Why hadn't I just believed her?

"Clarke.."

I don't hear her walking towards me. So I jump when Lexa touches my shoulder and tucks my hair away from my neck. I feel her lean into me. Feel her breathe calmly against me. Her robe is loose now, allowing her front to be exposed against my back. The warmth of her bare skin pressing into my shirt feels like a fire on me. She doesn't say anything when my heart starts pounding inside me. Just pulls me close and holds me still. Her chin skims across the back of my neck and her lips just brush the tip of my ear. For a couple seconds, somehow, she stops the world being so chaotic.

"Tell me what to do" she whispers and it stops my weak lean back into her body. I stop my eyes from their fluttering close and stare frozen out the window while Lexa waits still for my answer.

I know she's trying to help me save them. I know she doesn't want to punish anybody. Not if it hurts me. And I know its hard for her because ordinarily she wouldn't think twice about killing those who defy her. Doing otherwise goes against everything she's ever been taught as the commander.

Which is why I can't let her do that.

I shake my head at her. I can't command her. That wasn't how this worked. We were a team. Two leaders with one goal. I wouldn't take power over her. Even though everything in me tells me to in order to save my people. I can't do that anymore. Because doing that meant going back to being Wanheda. It meant going back to being that girl at the mountain. The one that killed so many people.

And I couldn't do that.

So I pull her hand down and take a step away from her. I look down from her questioning eyes when I turn around and I close my own to the guilt and pain beginning in my chest.

"You're the commander" I husk thickly and move around her to walk to the door, "Do whatever you want"


	6. Chapter 6

_The room is silent. Shockingly. There're bodies everywhere. Just lying still, cramped on top of one another. They tried to run. They tried to escape. And in doing so they trampled each other._

 _Their eyes stare up as we walk into the room. Their blank pupils wide. I look at every one and see a question. Why? Why us?_

 _I swallow back the bile rising in my throat. I fight off the quick breaths starting in my chest. My heart is pounding. I want to be sick. I need to be sick. I did this. I killed all these people._

 _"Clarke?"_

 _Lexa's voice is an anchor. It keeps me grounded. But only just. I'm still seconds away from screaming at what I've just done._

 _Fingers touch mine. Lexa turns me around to face her. Her palms cup my cheeks, holding me still. But my eyes wander from her talking to me. Her words don't mean anything right now. I look down and catch the dead unseeing eyes of a child looking up at us._

 _"Clarke" lexa's voice is harsher now, telling me to focus on her._

 _I shake my head at her and recoil from her touch. I close my eyes to keep from seeing them all. They shouldn't be dead. They didn't deserve any of this. Cage did. But not his people._

 _I turn from Lexa and walk on. I force myself to look at all of them. I force myself to look at what I did._

 _I am death, I think as I count their bodies, Destroyer of worlds.._

 _"Mia" a voice whimpers and sobs ahead of me._

 _I look up and my breath leaves me. Jasper is sat with her body in his arms, weeping into her hair. I stare at Mia. At the bloody burns all over her red skin. At her eyes looking right at me. They look disappointed. And betrayed._

 _And dead._

 _My heart shakes inside me. How had I not realised she would die too?_

 _I walk towards Jasper. I want to help. I want to apologise. I want to give her her life back because she definitely hadn't deserved any of this._

 _Jasper looks up at me approaching. His eyes freeze over seeing me and he growls furiously._

 _"What did you do?!" He shouts and then he screams it at me, "What did you do?!"_

* * *

"What did you do?!" a voice cries beside me suddenly.

The shock and awe of the outburst makes me come back from my memory and realise what I'm doing. My eyes focus ahead of me, to the dummy I'd been practising on. I stare at the chunks of wood missing out of it. At the vicious slash marks and brutal scratches crossing all over its once smooth body. My attention falls to the floor where wood chippings scatter the mud by my feet.

"Shit!" I gasp in shock to myself.

I bring my hands up to eye level and stare at them. The blunt sword in my left one weighs heavy. The red skin beneath it is starting to sting. I'd put a lot of force behind my attack. And I hadn't even realised it.

I turn and look up at Echo. She's staring at me, wide eyes taking me in in wonder and pride. I have to look away. This isn't something I should be praised for.

"How did you do that?" She asked walking past me to the dummy. She looks down at the chunks missing from its torso and then up at me for an answer.

I shrug back, "I don't know" I mumble ashamed.

I stare at the sword a moment longer and then fling it down. I don't like holding it. I don't like knowing I'd caused all that damage without realising.

Again.

Echo lets out a laugh for my answer, "You don't know?" she repeats amused, "Perhaps Wanheda's spirit is inside you after all, branwoda"

I glare back at her for the double insult and turn to go. I wasn't going to listen to her call me Wanheda. Or an idiot.

Echo calls after me on my storm out of the yard and I hear her run to my side.

"Wait, Clarke!"

She pulls on my hand to make me stop. Reluctantly I turn back to her.

"I apologize" she bows her head respectfully, "I did not mean to insult you. I'm just surprised. Not many can do that to a training dummy with a blunt sword"

I look over my shoulder at it again and breathe deeply to calm the worry I feel building inside me. I hadn't felt this out of control since the mountain. It scared me. A lot.

"Wanheda!" a gruff voice barks behind me.

I turned from Echo and feel my dread build some more seeing one of Lexa's guards stood waiting for me at the edge of the training field. He had a spear in his hand and he clenched it tight when I locked eyes with him.

"Matt" I greeted calmly.

He glares down at me saying his name and I see his knuckles turn white around the spear. He starts to walk towards us. I want to take a step back. He looks incredibly threatening.

Echo's chest touching my back tells me to hold my ground. She has my back. Matt stares over my shoulder at her. I can tell from the way she's trembling angrily into my back that his cold look is a secret one of complete disgust. Just because she's protecting me.

His eyes move away and back to me again. He seems to chew his words before he spits them at me.

"Heda requests your presence. She says you are to attend council immediately"

The way he looked at me told me I didn't get a say in whether or not I decided to attend.

"A request?" I growled at him moving forward with a hard look, "Sounds a lot like an order"

I admit I loved watching his glare ripple. In that moment I was the scarier one. I was Wanheda. And it was ridiculous how empowering it was.

Matt shifted a little on the spot and squeezed his spear tighter. I looked away seeing his knuckles turning white. At my side Echo's fingers curl around my wrist, hinting at me to play nice before Matt lost his temper. I drew a deep breath and eyed the torn up dummy behind her. I turned to Matt angrier than before. He wasn't the only one who could lose his temper.

"What is this council about?" Echo asks sensing the tension building between us. Matt looks down at her. His dark eyes glaring coldly.

"You know better than to ask about Heda's-"

I quickly cut over him trying to throw her down.

"What's the council about?" I push taking a brave step towards him. His jaw tightens meeting my eyes "I'm not a warrior" I remind him in caution, "I'm an ambassador to Heda. And more importantly, I am the Commander of Death. That means I get to ask about councils. So what's it about?"

Echo sniggers beneath her breath when Matt stumbles to reply straight away. He glares down at her like he might lunge to attack her any moment. I fold my arms over my chest impatiently and he locks my gaze seriously.

"The fate of your traitor people" he grins mockingly to me after answering, "Mighty Wanheda"

Echo stops sniggering. My arms fall at my sides. Everything goes silent in the moments that follow. I can't hear Echo walk around me and talk to Matt. I can't hear her words when she turns and touches my arm to get me to listen. I don't. I'm too busy worrying what Lexa has decided. What choice had she made in the last couple days without my guidance?

Instantly I'm terrified for my people.

"Clarke!" Echo shouts snapping her fingers in front of my face.

I blink and look back at her. She's staring at me in total concern. Behind her Matt is smirking.

"I-" I shake my head to stop the dizzying thoughts swirling inside it, "I've got to go"

I walk past her and Matt towards the tower. Lexa's guard follows after me and in three easy strides overtakes me to lead the way like a warrior leading his prisoner to their cell. I swallow as I look up at the pale building gleaming in the sunlight. Maybe it was about to become a prison to me.

I shift my eyes away and watch Matt's back as we walk. He's silent as we make our way through the crowded marketplace. I don't expect much else from Lexa's guards though. Blake is the only one willing to talk about anything. I'm the last person Matt will ever want to converse with. And I have no idea why. As far as I know I never did anything. He just doesn't like me. A worried part of me dreads that maybe I killed his kin at some point in my time on earth. I hope not but with my track record it's highly possibly.

I turn my eyes off his back with the bitter cold thoughts and look around the market at the other grounders enjoying their day trading. I can't help but notice none of them are calling out to me like they usually do. None of them are even looking my way. I'm not sure if it's a bad thing.

"Up you go, Commander of Death" he smirks nodding his head to the elevator once we're inside the tower.

I shoot him a quick look before I walk inside it. He's still smirking as he slams the doors shut.

I clench my fists once I'm alone and breathe harshly through my nose while I wait for the elevator to take me up. I keep telling myself to stop worrying. To stop stressing out. I had left this decision to Lexa after all. Whatever she'd chosen I would stand by it because that was how we lived now. How I lived now.

The elevator starts ascending with a light groan. I feel my heart begin to pound when the floor shakes beneath the steady rise up.

"Ai don sad klin" I mumbled weakly to myself and closed my eyes.

* * *

"We didn't do anything!"

Bellamy's voice roars through the murmuring in the throne room. Behind it Raven and Octavia's voices shout too. They're all here, all of them. All looking pale and confused for what they'd been accused of seconds before. Some had even asked why they'd been invited, shouting out to know where Kane was. None of them understand.

My ears are still ringing with Lexa's furious demand to know why they had entered the mountain. I'm still secretly shaking at her side. And I can't meet any of my people's eyes. Even though I know they're looking to me for help.

"Your people attacked my scouts not four days ago!" Lexa's shout silences the entire room. Looking down at her I can tell she's still raging over that. I don't blame her. I just want to move away from her. She looks completely terrifying.

"We've been here for the last three days!" Raven throws back at the commander and I shoot her a quick look to be quiet.

Lexa's fingers drum against her throne, "You have" she agrees tipping her head, "As a distraction to me"

"Thats not true!" Bellamy cries and turns to me, "Clarke, you don't believe this bull-"

"What other reason would there be?" I ask him sharply with an unchanging expression when they all stare back at me, "Bellamy, my mom expressed how much she wanted in on that mountain. And now she isn't here with the rest of you like we expected. What do you want us to make of that?"

Bellamy looks lost for words. So Raven cuts in for him. She limps towards me with a hard frown.

"We?" she repeats angrily, "Us? Have you forgotten? You are us!"

She points around at herself and the others. I have to force myself to remain calm when they all stare at me.

"You are Skaik-" she cuts off shaking her head, "No, fuck that grounder term! You're one of the hundred! You're Clarke Griffin, the med student from Alpha Station. Not this bullshit grounder girl willing to believe her own mother would fuck the rest of us over for the sake of some pills and extra blankets!"

My people all look back at me. They all agree with Raven. They all look hopeful to me. I can see it in their eyes. They expect me to save them all again.

I look down to the commander beside me. In her eyes fixed on Raven I can see anger for Raven's outburst. But I also see her chewing over what Raven said. In the green ring of her eyes I see her secret worry for what my answer will be. It makes me want to go to her. To stop her worrying. But I can't.

So I swallow down my mixed feelings and force the words out.

"People change, Raven" I bluntly tell her and ignore the hard shake of her head she gives me in return, "How low are the supplies at the Ark?" I ask them before she can shout back at me.

There's a short silence before Monty raises his hand, "Pretty low" he mumbles.

I'm not surprised. We'd expected as much.

"That doesn't mean we'd steal from the mountain" Bellamy adds glaring at his friend to keep quiet.

"Maybe you didn't" Lexa contemplates, "But your people did. My people know what they saw"

"So what are you gonna do?" Raven demands squaring herself when Lexa looks down at her, "Gonna kill us all over something that stupid?" she scoffs at Lexa, "Wouldn't be the first time"

Lexa stands up. I close my eyes momentarily to force myself to stay still. I can't stop this. My eyes open again to see Lexa stood on the last dais step, standing stock still and angry as she towers over Raven. The mechanic refuses to back down though. Instead she stands taller, challenging the commander back.

The tension in the room triples as the two women stand off to one another. Lexa is tall, powerful and angry. Raven is stubborn and twice as furious. Everybody in the room around them is tensed, waiting on their commander to move. I feel my heart pounding sickeningly faster and faster in my chest until Lexa turns away from the mechanic and back towards me. She gives me a brief glance and strides back to her throne.

"No, Raven" she calls back to the mechanic but her eyes lock mine beside her as she sits back down, "I am not going to kill you all" Lexa turns to face the room then, "At least, not until I have heard Skaikru's side"

The clan ambassadors start whispering to one another. I can hear Titus' voice over them asking Lexa to rethink this. But all of that is drowned out by the sound of Raven's limping steps towards the throne.

"You heard our side!" she growls glaring at the commander, "We said we didn't do it!"

"Heda!" The Ice Nation ambassador growls scowling at Raven, "Frag disha op Skaikru natrounas!"

A wave of agreeing nods circle the room around the commander, hushing up the second Lexa lifts a finger off her throne. I watch the evil smile slide off the Azgedian's face seeing Lexa ignore her. She steps forward.

"Disha sontaim nou na ge wich in, Heda" she urges looking up at me meanly, " _Frag emo op en dison laik odon"_

"Em pleni, Davkiva" Lexa replies calmly and looks to Raven.

"I believe you" Lexa tells the mechanic, waving her guards away from Raven's slow advance towards us, "But you do not speak for your kru, skaigona. I will speak with your leaders before I pass judgement. Until then your position as our honoured guests is revoked. You will all be held here until your people answer my summons to the city"

Lexa waves at her guards to take my people away. They reluctantly go, after a pleading look from me and encouraging words from Lincoln telling them all to do as they're told. I hang my head watching them go. I can't help but feel angry at Lexa for locking them up like that. And I feel so ashamed too. I let them down.

A grip around my arm stops me watching Raven being dragged out, and I look back to find Matt tugging me off to one side. He scowls when I look up at him. I take a deep breath before I nod back.

I start to walk with him. I have to set an example for my people. And really, I didn't expect to be exempt from all this.

I'm proven wrong seconds later.

"Not Wanheda!"

Lexa's growl is almost animalistic as she pounces off her throne to shove Matt aside herself. Her hand replaces his rough grip on my arm and she begins to gently usher me out of the room. Without care for Titus' glare or her people's whispering after us. I'm too surprised by her open display of protection that I can only stumble after her.

She leads me into her war room away from everybody else. When the door shuts on the noise across the hall she sighs and brushes her thumb over the red mark on my wrist.

"Did he hurt you?" She whispers touching her other hand to my cheek.

I let her warm palm against my skin melt me for a couple seconds before I remember I'm mad at her. I jerk away from her.

"What the hell was that?!" I demand strongly.

Lexa frowns at me.

"Which part?" she asks back. I glare at her.

"Taking my people prisoner!" I snarl and cross my arms, "Although, while we're on the topic, why the hell does your guard have such a big problem with me?"

Lexa rolls her eyes at me and walks past me to her map table. She turns and leans against it. Her eyes regard me carefully.

"I made a choice"

"You imprisoned my people!" I argue back.

"Would you rather I killed them on the spot?" she shot in reply, burning my anger down instantly. Lexa's eyes soften seeing me calmer, "I am not unfair, Clarke. I wouldn't kill those children for something they had no control over. But my people would"

There's a pause where we both just breathe deeply. Then Lexa continues, quieter this time, but just as strong, "This wasn't them. It was Kane and it was Abby. They will be the ones to answer for their mistake in thinking the mountain could be theirs. But I couldn't let your people leave the city and warn them. It would bring war to Polis"

I breathe calmly. In my heart I know she's right. But just thinking about my mom being punished for doing something she thought was best for her people just makes me feel sick. Worse is knowing I would be forced to watch it happen. I bite my lip when it starts trembling.

"Clarke.."

I look up when she says my name but look away immediately again seeing the pity in her eyes.

"Don't" I mumble and walk out the room.

I decide to get some air so I can think straight. I walk calmly down to the ground and am able to hold myself together as far as the stables. There I look out over the horses and call the whitest one over. He responds immediately to my whistle and moves proudly through the other horses to reach me. I smile when he bows his head in greeting. Its a trick the commander taught him.

"Heya, Phaethon" I greet laying my hand over his nose. He nuzzles at it affectionately when he knows its safe to be himself. I can't help but see Lexa in him.

"Ready to ride, boy?" I ask him gently.

He counts at the ground and nods his head. There's an almost excited glow to his intelligent eyes watching me. I smile sadly and hop the fence into the stable.

* * *

I find peace in the way the stallion snorts and his hooves slam against the ground. And the way the wind whips my hair back and chills my cheeks. It stings a little but I don't care. I like feeling it. Physical pain is such a relief from the emotional pain I've been drowning in since the battle at Mount Weather. I need it to remind me that I am human after all. I'm not a complete monster.

"C'mon, Phaethon!" I urge pushing the horse faster, as fast as he can go.

Anything faster than my heart.

He snorts back at me and I bend down to his ear, "Artemis would have circled the city twice now" I tease him.

Phaethon snorts at his sister's name and lurches forward with incredible speed. I feel the change in his body as he pushes himself farther and faster. I have to really squeeze his heaving sides with my thighs and cling on to his long white mane as well as the reins to stop myself falling off his back. It makes me laugh giddily. Finally I feel free.

I close my eyes as Phaethon leaps over a low ditch into another field. I can feel him breathing harshly through the run. I can feel his powerful body tremble with energy while he runs. Every jolt, every throw of his legs back into the ground. I breathe deeply to myself. Its just me, Phatheon, the sun, and the wind. Nobody else. Nothing else. No Skaikru. No friends. No grounders. Like it should be.

It scares me sometimes just how much I crave the loneliness of it all.

It feels like its hours later when my eyes open again and I allow myself to think about my current problem. I'm struggling with a way to save my people, again. Part of me doesn't want to. They need to accept the responsibility for their selfish actions. They need to know I'm not going to dig them out of every hole they make against the grounders. But I know I can't do that. It's not that easy. It never is. So what do I do?

Phaethon has slowed himself down to a lazy walk without my continued urging to run. His ribs expand harshly against my legs. He can't breathe right yet. He's sweating and shaking a little from over exertion. He needs to rest. I pat his neck and turn him back towards Polis with a heavy sigh when I spy the tower standing in the distance. Somewhere inside my people are being held, my friends. I can just imagine how they're handling it. Bellamy is probably trying to keep everyone calm. Raven's probably trying to build something to help them escape. I bet Octavia's telling them all to chill out..

I sigh knowing I will have to face them. To answer them why I didn't help. Why I'm not with them right now.

I don't want to go back yet. But I can't hide forever.

"C'mon boy" I sigh gently tugging the reins so he turns around.

I keep him at a slow walk, letting him choose his own pace. He nods his head against my hand curling in his mane. He appreciates my kindness. I smile and coo at him. I'm glad I accepted him off Lexa. He's been a good companion to me. My mind distracts long enough to take me back to that moment in the stables when she'd presented him to me. With nothing but a smile and a name to give him.

"Phaethon" I smile, chest fluttering like it did that night.

I look down to my fingers still curled in his coarse white hair and shake my head at myself. I'm remembering Lexa explaining the origin of the name. I'm remembering the husk in her voice as she whispered the ancient old world mythology in my ear. I'm remembering the kiss she gave me on his back as we rode him together for the first time.

"You know," I say to him smiling wider with the memories, "You could totally be a horse of legend"

He nods his head which makes me laugh and walks a little taller, chest out proud. I laugh and wrap my arms around his neck. I love his personality and the way he understands what I'm saying. He reminds me so much of Lexa when she takes the heda mask off.

Our slow ride has us circling the city by midday. And once I feel calm enough to return to my oh so happy reputation as Wanheda and Skaikru saviour, I push Phaethon back into the busy crowds.

"Wanheda!" Some of the people shout out to me as I pass by.

They walk over to me with their smiles and some stretch up to give me gifts. I force myself to smile back at them every time I accept them. I can't not. Lexa taught me months ago to accept anything her people gave me because it meant they respected me. And it showed I respected them back. I couldn't insult them otherwise. Or her.

Eventually my horse breaks through the line of my admirers. He seems as restless as I feel under all the attention. I straighten up from my last stretch down to a little girl standing on her tip toes to gift me with two yellow flowers. I smile at her shyly telling me she picked them especially for me while I tuck one behind my ear. I quickly braid a piece of Phaethon's mane after and slip the second flower through it to match. The little girl beams at the two of us.

"Mochof, meizen" I tell her softly, smiling effortlessly when she giggles and blushes back at me.

I turn my horse after her embarrassed skip away after her friends and direct him away from the market. My ride carries me deeper out of the heart of the city towards the warrior training grounds. There I find the nightbloods hard at work sparring with one another while Titus walks among them barking instructions. I stop my horse on the edge of their clearing to watch. I've always been curious about the nightbloods' training. Especially because Lexa always praises their hard work after a long day working with them.

My horse stamps the ground impatiently when we stop and the sound of his whinnying draws the flame keeper's attention. He looks up past his students and eyes me coldly across the field. I stare back. I know he's still pissed about finding me in the commander's room. I know he doesn't support it at all. I direct his cold look back at him. He should know I don't care.

Titus is the first to look away. And it makes me feel a little smug. Until he turns and loudly scolds Jonah for waving at me. I scowl at the flame keeper when Jonah looks back at me miserably. He didn't need to be a jerk to the boy. He was just a kid saying hi.

Titus ignores me and calls Aden to him to talk. I roll my eyes when the young nightblood quickly strides over to me after.

"Good morning, Wanheda" he greets me nervously with a low bow.

I sigh tiredly back at him.

"How many more times, Aden? My name is Clarke. None of you have to call me Wanheda"

 _And for god's sake stop bowing!_ , I add biting my lip to keep from shouting in frustration.

"Heda told us to" Aden answers me shortly.

He stands taller at the mention of heda. As if she might jump out at any second to tell him off. I just roll my eyes and turn in the saddle to slide off my horse. I step around it to give the kid a smile.

"Well I'm telling you not to" I say gently, hoping he'll understand its okay to be informal with me.

Aden frowns uncertainly back, "But Heda-"

"Is not here and I say it's fine" He gives me a nervous look and I grin mischievously back, "You let me deal with Lexa" I whisper conspiringly.

Aden begins to smile then. He knows I can get around Lexa easy. I smile back and ask how his training is going. He nods with a proud grin.

"Heda believes I am close to ready for my trials. Soon I will become an official warrior of Polis"

I smile at him puffing his chest. I'm proud he's come so far in the short time I've known him. But I'm not surprised. Aden is definitely Lexa's best student. And her favourite.

And, secretly, he's one of my favourites too.

"You'll be a great warrior, Aden" I tell him honestly, "Polis is lucky to have you"

Aden cheeks redden and he bows to me, "Thank you, Wan- Clarke" He amends quickly, "Thank you, Clarke"

I flash him a grateful grin and turn to watch Titus again. The flame keeper is pacing between students barking furiously. But I know he knows I'm watching. He looks up after shouting at Rosa and sees my focus on him. It makes him shift a little awkwardly away from the child. He nods curtly, eyes flashing between me and Aden in a bid for the boy to speak already.

"So come on," I sigh looking down at the once again nervous nightblood beside me, "What's Titus' message for me?"

Aden shifts on his feet before he tells me, "Titus says the training grounds are not for sky people. If you wish to talk to him you must first arrange a meeting"

I scoff and pat Aden's shoulder when he flinches from me. The reaction disappoints me. I don't want Lexa's people to be afraid of me. And definitely not the kids.

"Like I came to talk to him" I mutter beneath my breath.

I look down at Aden and smirk again.

"Titus is too grumpy in the mornings" I tell him earning myself a shy smile back. I cross my arms and lean my head down to whisper in his ear, "Personally I think it's that robe he wears. It's a little too tight around the neck. Don't you think, Aden?"

He stifles a laugh but suddenly straightens himself like a soldier at command. I can guess why. I turn and as expected am greeted by Titus' stern look for the boy.

"And what is so funny, Aden?" He asks scowling.

I quickly step in before Aden can tell Titus the truth.

"I was just telling Aden how impressive the training school is. We don't have anything like it back at the Ark. He found it funny"

Titus regards us a moment before he nods. He turns to the boy and puts a hand on his back to direct him back to his training.

"Train hard, Aden. One day you will show Skaikru just how weak they are"

Aden nods at his teacher and scurries away to join the others. I frown after him.

"Are you actively encouraging your students to hate Skaikru?" I question Titus angrily.

Titus turns back to me scowling, "Heda will not be happy you are disrupting Aden's training. Again"

"You're the one making him play messenger" I shoot back moving to face him, "If you have something to say to me, Titus, say it yourself. Don't hide behind children"

His eyes burned hatefully at me, "Fine. Let us drop this charade"

"Lets" I agree crossing my arms waiting for it.

Titus' eyes lock on mine and he knows I'm not going anywhere until he's spat it out. His jaw flexes a little. He doesn't like knowing he doesn't scare me.

"It's no secret I do not like you" He begins quickly.

"Ditto" I fling right back at him.

He looks at me, confusion and anger seething in his darkening eyes.

"You're insolent, disrespecting and completely a nuisance to work with"

I laugh hollowly back, not at all affected by his insults, "Is that all you got?"

Titus growls low in his throat.

"You question too much. You are weak"

I roll my eyes at him and shake my head, "You have got to do better than that, Titus"

If he thought this was affecting me at all then he was seriously wrong. If anything I was just short of yawning at him. He on the other hand looked close to popping a vein. I smiled at his reddening face and waited for him to storm off.

Titus takes a dangerous step forward to me, face full of thunder as he glares me down.

"You are a distraction to the commander. Your presence here will only cause more problems" My smile falls short then and his eyes flash knowing he'd hit a nerve, "Your ability to make her second guess herself is annoyingly persistent. And if you carry on, one day you will be the death of her"

A fire starts inside me then. I feel so angry all of a sudden.

"You think I'm manipulating her?" He stares blankly back at me, confirming it, "So years of telling her she has to be alone and shut herself off from caring for people, that's not manipulation?"

Titus just stared back at me. Which infuriates me. My hands clench beneath my arms, aching with my desire to clock him in the face. He shifts so he's standing taller and walks to tower over me. His eyes glow coldly at me and for the first time since knowing him I'm actually afraid of the flame keeper. There's something in his eyes that says he's quite capable of a lot of nasty things.

"You are not good for my people, Clarke. And from what I hear, you are not good for your own either"

His cruel words cut through my chest and I wince when they cling fast to my heart.

Titus sneers at my reaction and continues, "You have no idea the sort of threat you have hung above Heda's head. She cannot allow herself to diverge from her path. Doing so will undo everything she has created. To throw it away on this.. moment of weakness..." His eyes glow harder in disgust and hate, "Opening her heart to you will bring her death. Because that's all you can offer her"

He nods curtly with a sick smile for me, "Wanheda" he spits sarcastically and turns away.

I'm too stunned by what he's said to say anything back. I can only stand there staring at the ground while my heart pounds sickeningly fast in fear and worry. I can't stop it speculating whether Titus might be right. He spoke out of anger and fear because he saw me as a threat. To Lexa's position as Heda and his own as her right hand man. But beneath that I'd heard the panic in his voice. He genuinely thought I would bring about her death. It makes me think about every little change in her that's happened thanks to me. And it makes me angry. Because I find myself agreeing with Titus.

I shake my head to myself and shoot the flame keeper a scolding glare before I haul myself quickly back up into my saddle. I hate that smug look he shot back to me. He thought he'd won this one.

"C'mon!" I growl at the horse and harshly tug the reins.

He whinnies at me but I'm too angry to care much. I just want to get away from Titus and his venomous accusations.

My chest aches hard the whole way into the city and I knew from its hard trembling that my heart wants Lexa. I refuse its plea for me to go find her so she could pull me close and make me believe Titus was wrong. I don't deserve that comfort.

My angry ride takes me back through the busy market and into the woods. I ride along the stream until I reach the place where Lexa and I train in privet. Phaethon walks to one side when I hop down off him. My eyes cast around the area and I decide a little training wouldn't hurt.

 _It might help_ , I think and look back at the dummy standing by the trees. It wouldn't be so hard pretending it was Titus.

I let my horse wander away and walk myself to the hidden bunker in the ground where we hid our weapons when we weren't training. I kick the dirt and leaves aside but stop hearing a noise in the trees ahead of me.

"Hello?" I call out staring into the brush. Nobody answers.

I shrug it off and crouch down to reach for the metal hatch of the bunker. It groans when I pull it open and reach inside for the bag holding the swords. I'm a little hesitant to train with them again after this morning's session. I don't want to lose control again. But I need to get rid of this rage somehow.

"Okay.." I mumble to myself as I unroll the two short swords.

My fingers glance over Lexa's one before I pick up my own. I stand and swing it in my hand.

"Nice and easy" I remind myself as I slowly approach the dummy.

I swing the air a couple times before I let my arm lash out and strike the dummy. It makes a satisfying whack and chips the wood. I spin around pulling the sword free and shout as I immediately turn on my heel to hit it again. The tip of the blade slices a deep line across the dummy's throat and I smirk pretending I'd just killed Lexa's flame keeper.

I think over our conversation as I continue to train. I let his snide smirks and his harsh words roll over and over in my head while I whack at the dummy again and again. And with every chunk I take out of the dummy I just get angrier and angrier. Until I'm breathing erratically and just hacking savagely.

"Mother fucking- agh!" I shout out striking the dummy so hard its head snaps off.

I stare down at it after and breathe heavily.

A rustling of leaves behind me has me spinning around with a swing of my sword. It clangs loudly against another sword.

"You're certainly improving" Lexa smirks sliding her sword down against mine, holding their lock. She nods to the decapitated dummy after, "What did he do to enrage you?"

I jerk my sword free and turn away, "Nothing"

"Clarke-"

"How can I help, Heda?" I ask bitterly through my anger.

I hear her stop her advance towards me when she hears the tone of my voice. I can feel her hesitate behind me.

"I do not want your help" she answers calmly, "I want us to speak" There's a silence before she adds, "But maybe you would like to train?"

I look back at her and shake my head. I know she's just trying to stall the real conversation. She's hoping to get this tension between us out of the way by simply letting me beat it out of us. Like that could work. Maybe in another circumstance I'd have found it sweet. But not today. Not now.

"No" I growl a little and before I can stop myself I'm giving her a short look, "I think I'm done for the day"

I angrily throw my sword down and start to walk towards my horse. I hear her following me. Lexa stops behind me as I reach out and grab Phaethon's reins.

"Clarke, I've been thinking about Skaikru"

I let out a deep breath but refuse to look back at her. Here it comes.

"Yeah?"

She pauses again but decides to plough through it regardless that I'm clearly not in the mood. Typical Lexa.

"Yes. I respect your loyalty to both them and me. And your ability to cut yourself from your people to agree with our ways. But I know it pains you to do this"

I sigh. Already I'm over this conversation.

"Lexa-"

"Which is why I would like to offer you a place among my people" she quickly blurts over me, cutting any angry retort right out of my mouth.

I spin around, "W-what?" I stutter staring at her. I'm not entirely sure I heard her right.

She wanted me to take up a different kru? Her kru?

Lexa keeps watching me calmly while I process it all. Her eyes hold mine calmly, amused even. I stare at the seriousness glaring in the green watching me patiently. And my heart starts hammering inside me.

She means it. She totally means it.

"Clarke, I know why you avoid Arkadia" she tells me carefully when I still fail to say anything, "I know why you avoid your people. You blame them for making you pull that lever"

Her words make me cringe. And I quickly raise my hand to stop her speaking, "No. No, I don't. You've got it completely wrong. I don't blame anyone other than myself"

"Then your relenting their lives to me before. That was not an act of revenge?" she questions shrewdly.

I laugh, "Lexa, that was me standing down and letting you do what you do"

Lexa's eyes hold mine again. They refuse to look away. They even hold a light of challenge in them as she processes my answer.

"I see.. And what I do is murder?"

 _Ouch,_ I wince hearing the hurt infliction in her voice. It makes me angry again. She really believed thats how I saw her? After everything?

"Will you stop putting words in my mouth?!" I cry at her and moved past her to walk off the my irritation. Lexa turns to watch me.

"You are the commander here" I say pointing at her, "You. Leska kom Trikru. I'm just a space girl that fell into your lap and fucked everything up"

Lexa stares at me like she's finally seeing the issue. And then, "What has Titus been filling your mind with?"

I don't completely trust that tone she uses. Its too calm. Too even. I quickly decide its not worth dropping Titus in it. Not when I know he could spin everything back on me the second Lexa confronted him.

"He didn't say anything that wasn't true. I get in the way, Lexa. I make you look weak in front of your people. And I can't do it anymore"

I start to walk away but she stops me with a firm grip on my arm that pushes me further away from my horse until she's got me backed into a tree. I look up annoyed but find my emotions evaporating the second our eyes meet. Her green ones search mine desperately as she raises and closes her arms around me to stop me walking away again. I can hear the soft crunch of bark breaking behind me under her fingers. And she's so close I can feel her heart jumping in her chest.

Lexa stares down at me, and for once there's no sign of the commander hidden deep behind her look for me. She looks unmasked for once. And it has my throat tightening and my chest squeezing. Lexa looks at me like she can feel it herself.

There's a long moment of us just staring at one another before she breaks the silence in the most vulnerable cracked voice I've ever heard her use.

"Are you leaving, Clarke?"

I stare dumbly back at her. Her question causes pain to tingle and rush through my chest. I hadn't planned leaving. Thinking about it hurt. But now I am thinking about it.. I know it would be the best thing for Lexa. Ultimately. If Titus thought my being with her would kill her then maybe I should go.

"I didn't say that" I whisper back to her and grip her wrists as she cupped my face in her hands. Her thumbs ran the length of my cheeks and I struggle not to let the moment blow me over.

Lexa nods for my answer and bends her head down to leave a chaste kiss against my lips. But not having kissed her for a while makes me, weakly, hungry for more. I arch up as she pulls away, snatching her mouth back, and she willingly kisses me again. Lexa groans into my mouth and I become breathless as her kisses drag the air from my lungs.

I have to break away first. Before I pass out from her. She rests her head against mine, eyes closed.

"I will never leave you again" she husks solemly over my gentle panting, "That was my vow, Clarke"

She moves her hand on my face, grazing it to lift my chin a little to the side. When she does I feel the sealed wound on her palm burn like a small flame into my skin. Reminding me of that night again.

Lexa's lips graze the side of my face when I suck in a sharp breath and tense up. It offers me some comfort. Enough to keep me rooted in this moment with her.

She takes a deep breath, "But if you wish to go, if that is what you need, then... I will not stop you. I-" Lexa stops herself with a cute frown for herself. Whatever she's trying to say is difficult. Which scares me because it must be serious.

"Lexa?" I gently touch her cheek with a smile when her head rolls into it.

"Don't speak" she whispers and tilts her head further round to kiss my wrist, "Please, Clarke. I need to tell you this. But it's hard"

I nod despite feeling worried, "Okay"

Lexa takes a deep breath and opens her eyes to me. In them I see fear and uncertainty and it pulls at my soul to help her.

"Clarke.." she searches me looking for the words and then just throws it out there, "I don't want you to go anywhere" Its almost a whimper thats gone as soon as she makes it. It has me staring at her, "Not because you're Skaikru's liaison. Not because you're Wanheda. Not because thanks to that you're a powerful figure in Polis who makes me look good or-"

I start rubbing a hand into the small of her back to calm her down when she starts talking too fast.

"Easy there. Your ego is already too big" I laugh to lighten the tension in hopes she'd calm down a little. Lexa smiles. If only a tiny bit.

"Clarke, if you left I would not be as I am. I would be something less. Something broken and alone. You share my bed but you are much more to me than someone who keeps my furs warm"

My heart starts tap dancing then.

Is she going to say what I think she's going to say?

Lexa looks down at me nervously and my skin shocks electrically.

 _Holy shit she is._

"Clarke, I need you. I don't want. I need. To beg you to stay would be selfish but it's something I am so close to doing. Because I am stronger with you here. You make me better" Lexa purses her lips and her eyes soften at me in almost misery at me, "That's why I lo-"

"Help!" A scream echoes suddenly around us and both our heads snap immediately to the woods behind Lexa. My hand wraps scared around hers still holding my face while her arm snakes protectively around me.

"What was that?" I whisper to her, trying to see through the dense trees around us.

Lexa shakes her head at me and turns, pulling her knife from her hip as she does. Another scream sounds, closer this time. Less in fear. More in agony. Lexa steps from me and raises her knife. I immediately pull her back by her jacket.

"You have no idea what's out there!" I tell her when she looks back at me, begging her to stay with me.

Lexa looks down at me just as another scream reaches around us. Her eyes say she has to go help. She can't ignore it.

"I will be back" she whispers and tangles her hands away from mine.

Lexa gives me a last serious look to stay put and then leaves me.

I count the minutes when she's gone and listen to more screaming. With each new one I cant help but wait to hear Lexa's next. Especially when the other woman's voice starts to get quieter, weaker, before the scream for help fades into gargled coughs.

Soon the wind picking up around me is the only thing I can hear. It makes me edgy, causes me to jump at the slightest noise. What if whatever was out there was coming this way? My empty hands clench uselessly at my sides. I swallow the fear down.

My heart races scared as it waited for Lexa to come back. I glance stare down at my dad's watch continuously. Minutes felt like hours. What was taking so long? What had caused that terrible scream? An attack? But why weren't there more shouts racing around the woods? Why couldn't I hear fighting? It didn't make any sense.

"Clarke!" Lexa shouts suddenly from my right.

I jump with a gasp and spin on the spot, eyes catching on her struggling through the trees with a warrior dragging in her arms. I rush forward and stare at the blood pouring down the girl's throat and chest.

"What happened?!" I cry at Lexa while she sets the warrior on the ground. I fall down at their side and stare at the wounded girl. She was a scout. I'd seen her around Polis before. Why was she out here?

My hands went straight to the bleeding punctures on the girl's throat. My eyes stare at the deep marks. Teeth marks?

"Are these human?" I ask Lexa, who just sits quiet beside me.

I glance back at her unusual silence and notice how pale she looks. She's staring at the marks too.

"Lexa!" I snap my fingers in her face, stressing silently that she's gone into shock.

The commander shakes her head at me and mumbles something.

"What?!"

I feel the body laying on me shake and I rip my eyes off Lexa to the girl coughing in my lap. I pull my hand away from her throat and panic at the blood gushing out from the wound. I try to remember everything I'd learned about neck wounds from my mom. I try to think what she'd tell me to do if she was here right now.

 _Come on, Clarke!_ I growl at myself.

"Check for damage around the carotid artery" I whisper, channeling my inner doctor.

The warrior shudders and gasps when I slowly pull the torn flesh aside to peer past the blood at the exposed tissue beneath. I breathe relieved when it seems intact. She won't die immediately then. I could still save her.

"Okay," I look down at her pained eyes and give her small smile, "You're gonna be fine. We just have to keep pressure on this"

I look back at Lexa and ask her for her shirt to use as a bandage. She ignores me. She's still staring at her warrior's torn throat. I ignore my concern for her and throw my jacket off to rip my shirt over my head. I bunch it up and press it against the bleeding. The girl's body convulses, trying to move from the pain. I shush her gently and apply more pressure.

"He.. He bit her.." Lexa mumbles quietly.

I look back at her straight away.

"Who bit her?" I ask removing a hand from compressing the warrior's throat to grip lexa's hand. She jumps at the contact and moves her eyes to the blood on my hands, "Lexa, who was he?"

She shakes her head, "I don't know"

"Was it a reaper?" I question grabbing her chin when she looks away to the woods behind us. I make her look at me and meet her eyes seriously, "Lexa, this is important. Was he a reaper?"

"I thought he was. He was bent over her and she was.. screaming.."

Lexa looks down at the girl, eyes brimming a little with hopelessness. She looked at her warrior in silent apology. I looked down and applied more pressure to the wound. I told her she'd be okay. Lexa might not believe it but I did.

"She's losing too much blood" I mumbled wracking my brain for a way to fix this. She'd need to be taken back to Polis and-

I froze.

 _Polis!_

"L-Lexa.." I swallowed my scared voice as I looked at her, "You did kill him... Right?"

The commander's head snaps up and she stares at me. Her mouth falls open slightly, and her face pales some more. She looks away to the woods and suddenly springs to her feet. I leap up after her to stop her marching off. I don't know what she's doing until she reaches down for her training sword.

"Lexa!"

She ignores me and straps it through her belt. Then she walks past me again. Lexa bends down to the gasping warrior on the ground. The girl screams when Lexa collects her in her arms and stands with her. I tell her to stop. She's hurting the girl. Lexa doesn't hear me. She strides quickly to Phaethon and hauls the warrior up into his saddle. She turns to me walking to her and throws me up on top of the horse too.

I start shaking my head at her, "Lexa, no! Don't go out there all al-"

"Take her back to the city, Clarke. See that she is comfortable. Heal her if you can"

Lexa turns towards the woods and her eyes gleam meanly. She takes out her sword and swings it, and I know immediately what she's thinking.

I stretch down and grab a fistful of her jacket to stop her running off. She turns back and there's a mad gleam in her eyes. Her people had been hurt and the threat was still out there. She was furious. And prepared to hunt it down alone. But she couldn't. What if this possible reaper did this to her?

"Please" I whisper to her, tightening my hold on her jacket.

Lexa's eyes soften and she gently takes my hand away from her. She holds it in hers and squeezes it. She smiles up at me and I'm reminded horribly of those conversations we used to have about her spirit.

"Don't come back" she whispers moving my hand to wrap it around Pheathon's reigns. She touches my thigh after and stares up at me, begging me to listen, "Don't follow me, Clarke. Get Ema to Polis. You're in charge now"

"But-"

Lexa doesn't give me a chance to argue. She pulls on Phaethon's harness, yanking him around her body. He snorts as he trots past her and then bolts at her slapping the flat of her sword into his flanks. My hands fly to hold tight to the reigns and Ema's hip as the stallion runs quickly through the forest and back towards home and safety.

My head turns so I can see over my shoulder and I searched terrified for Lexa behind us. But she was already gone. Already searching for the monster that had done this.

* * *

 _ **Just some quick notes;**_

 _ **Branwoda - Idiot**_

 _ **Ai sad don klin - I made this choice.**_

 _ **Mochof, meizen - Thank you, beautiful.**_

 _ **Frag disha op Skaikru natrounas" - Kill these Skaikru traitors.**_

 _ **Disha sontaim nou na ge wich in - This story cannot be believed.**_

 _ **Frag emo op en dison laik odon" - Kill them and be done with it.**_

 _ **Em pleni - Enough.**_

 _ **Also! Artemis and Phaethon are horses I borrowed from ancient Greek mythology. Phaethon was one of the horses belonging to Eos, the dawn goddess, who was the sister of Helios, the sun god. I wanted to name him Helios but Lincoln already claimed that name for his horse. Artemis is of course the greek hunter goddess of the forest and wilderness. Artemis is Lexa's horse. So horses that represent the sky and the woods, linking with their owners.**_

 _ **Heads up, next chapter gets gory.**_


	7. Chapter 7

**_AUTHOR WARNING; I'm useless at updates. I'm sorry!_**

 ** _CONTENT WARNING; Blood, guts and gore ahead._**

 ** _TRIGGER WARNING; Child death._**

 ** _BADASS WARNING; Its Lexa's turn for a chapter._**

* * *

 **Lexa**

I watch on through the trees while Phaethon carry Clarke and Ema away. He runs fast, as he'd been raised to. I'm thankful he seems to understand the urgency of the situation. Hopefully he will deliver Wanheda and Ema to Polis soon.

I'd intended to track down the dangerous man that had attacked Ema the moment I had bolted out of the the training area. But I'd stopped just inside the tree line. Something was stopping me going and when I had looked back over my shoulder and turned around to stare after Clarke, I knew what.

My eyes are latched possessively and worryingly on Clarke's bare bloodstained back as she's taken further away from me. I watch as my bloody red and black handprints on her skin grow harder and harder to see. My fist squeezes around the cut I'd sustained saving Ema. I feel so scared for Clarke. And I know that its wrong. I should be concerned more with my warrior; she was the one that was dying. And more concerned with myself for the dangerous hunt I'm about to begin. But I'm not. My heart holds fear only for the golden-haired Skaiprisa. It pounds inside my chest and makes me want to run after Clarke so I can protect her myself. I don't really trust anybody else with that duty.

Its selfish and completely shameful and disrespecting to my station as the Commander. But all I want is to keep her safe.

In this moment that is my first priority.

The truth I had almost spilled to Clarke before bubbles inside me again now as the distance grows hastily between us. I'm suddenly scared that she might not hear me say it. It makes me regret not telling her sooner. Before all this trouble with her people had begun. I had been given so many chances and now my spirit was about to be tested once again. I could never get another shot at telling her.

I see Clarke's head turn back. Almost as if she can sense me watching her, can sense my thinking of her. I see the immediate fear pass over her face not being able to see me. She looks so scared. And all I want to do is make it stop. But I can't.

"I love you" I hoarsely whisper, finally tearing my gaze off the running horse fading into the trees ahead of me.

I say a quick prayer to beg the gods to keep Clarke safe for me before I turn away back to the trees that, somewhere out there, was harbouring the monster that threatened my people.

A shiver runs up my back with the memory of the man. He'd been grotesque and disfigured, ugly and disgusting. And utterly terrifying. And now I would have to hunt this beast down. To protect my people.

To protect Clarke.

I glower into the dark thick of trees and tighten my grip on my sword. Then I burst forward into a hard run that has me practically flying through the woods.

I follow my memory back to the place where I had previously found Ema. I'd left Clarke in our training area and followed the river north, following the tracks and screams of my scout to a closed area that my people had once used for training for decades before my ascension to the throne. Now it was just an empty derelict clearing that was circled by large ancient trees and crowded by overgrown roots and foliage. Just beyond it lay one of the few secret dirt tracks that lead out of Polis. Usually it was guarded but I couldn't see any of my warriors nearby. And it wasn't like my people to abandon their posts.

I slow my run and catch my breath by the abandoned training area. I send a call up, signalling the guard who should be patrolling nearby. But nobody replies. My call just echoes and dies around me. It sets me a little on edge.

I tightly hold my sword ready and walk in a slow circle. With eyes keenly searching the area for any clues to the strange man's location. When I'd first come across he and Ema, they had been just within the track. Perhaps he had moved further down it, possibly even followed it away from here altogether.

I start heading forward to check it out just in case, but stop short suddenly when I hear leaves rustling heavy with movement behind me.

I freeze catching a shadow move in the corner of my eye. Over my own light panting I can hear somebody else breathing, heavy and ragged. Almost like they're choking on the air. I know immediately who it is. I don't have to turn to know I've been found by the one I was hunting.

I move my head forward again and squeeze my fingers around my sword as I move it round to hold up in both hands. I briefly close my eyes while I listen to him come closer and closer. I let him. I need him within reach.

"Keryon ste Heda shoun raun ai" I whisper the quick prayer beneath my breath.

Something snaps loudly behind me, and it makes me take a deep breath before I throw my voice louder.

""Stap!" I call out hearing him come closer, "Nou sen yu fut daun nowe!"

I spin around and raise my sword in both hands when I hear him continue forward despite my command.

My eyes carry up his muddy boots dragging along the ground. Up over his filthy torn pants. Up past his heaving chest to the torn skin on his bloody and mud stained throat and face. My gaze locks as if hypnotised on his eyes. They look bloodshot like he's drugged. But more than that they look blank. Like their colour had been sucked dry. It makes me feel as sick looking at him now. As much as it had when I'd first discovered him. He looks unnatural. Diseased.

"Ai laik heda an ai hedon yu stap!"

The strange man keeps coming forward, ignoring me completely as if he cannot hear me. My lips peel up into a snarl.

"I said stop!" I shout furiously at him and pull my left leg back to hold myself in a defensive stance ready for his eventual attack of me.

The strange man ignores me again and moves faster towards me. His limbs move awkwardly in his haste, as if he doesn't know how to walk properly. I look at him meanly, warning him off. Not that it makes a difference.

He's close enough now I can see the skin flapping off the side of his right cheek. And the red drool rolling out of the corners of his lips. There's dark red blood dripping down along the dirt on his neck. I can see a dark stain by his left shoulder. The tear in his jacket there suggests he's been stabbed. Probably by my scout before when he had managed to get his teeth on her.

Remembering the pained scream of my warrior as his teeth had clamped around and then torn into her throat fills me up with anger. He would pay for that. Blood would have blood.

I point my sword at him.

"Whatever you were, whatever foul thing you have become, I swear by my blood as Heda; you will die today"

The could be reaper throws his head back and lets out a loud wild snarl in return that sends an icy shiver down my spine. He begins to flail his left arm at me, trying to reach for me. I lean back to avoid it and kick him back with a yell. He stumbles backwards and then comes back at me. He tries again to reach for me. I twist my torso and block his next swing for my face with my forearm. I have to lean my head back when he leans his down through our touching arms and snaps his teeth in my face. His other hand grabs at my side in the meantime. I have to fight a wince when his fingers catch a purchase on my hip. His nails are digging past my shirt, scratching into my skin.

I gasp out when it hurts and push back against his weight bearing down into my right arm. He's a full head taller than me, with a bulky body to match. The heaviness of his body persistently leaning into mine saps my strength quickly. Soon I know my arm will shake and give out on me.

I try to angle my blade whilst holding him away from me, so that it would cut his face and give me room again to push him back. But the blade is too high even with the angle. So I open my hand and when I finally manage to slip my sword down to hold in my palm enough so that his next strong lean into me makes him press his cheek on the edge of the sharp steel, he just continues forward. Like it doesn't pain him. He leans harder when my surprise makes me hesitate, forcing the sharp blade into his face, peeling his skin up along his jaw and exposing the bloody muscle beneath it.

I swallow the bile in my throat when my hand becomes sticky with his blood and mine running down the sword and onto my wrist.

His other hand lets my side go and reaches up for my face. In a moment of panic, I grab my swords blade in my other hand too and push with all my might against him. My palms sting with its sharp bite into my hands but it does the trick.

The growling man is thrown backwards. He trips up on a raised tree root in the process and falls to his back. I hear a crack when his head hits the ground and I bend over myself gasping thinking that it might be over.

But it's not.

I'm still struggling to breathe when I see him move. My skin goes cold and I stare in shock watching him crawl slowly to his hands and knees in front of me. I can see his neck is at an odd angle. Broken from the fall. And yet he is rising to his feet again.

How?!

A foreign feeling takes me over as the man comes at me again. And I stumble backwards realising what it is.

Fear.

"Ai laik Heda!" I shout at him in fury.

I'm angry I'm feeling scared. Feelings were weakness in every capacity. And I refused to show him that he scared me.

"Ai non fir raun!" I tell him and ready myself for him. I raise my sword and hold my stance steady, "Wamplie ste nau kom op em deyon"

This time when he stumbles closer and raises his gnarled fingers to clutch at me, I yell and raise and aim my sword to slash it across his waist. Blood spurts out from the cruel wound but the strange man keeps coming as if he cannot feel it.

I stare at him shocked. I begin to back up. Any normal man would have cried out. Any normal man would be clutching his open belly and panicking at all the blood. Any normal man would have died the moment his neck broke before.

I don't understand this.

"What are you?" I mumble moving further back when he snarls and lunges at me.

I keep going back, hitting various trees with my back and sliding around them, using them as a buffer between me and him. He makes small grunts every time he flies into the tree I'd just abandoned. Never does he see my escape move coming. He seems to be fairly stupid. I wonder if he can talk at all. Whether he knows what he's doing.

I keep going back until my foot catches on something and I trip over backwards. I land on my back and everything goes black a moment when my head hits something hard.

* * *

I struggle to open my eyes. My head really hurts. I raise my hand up to touch it and force my eyes to open and focus on the green canvas above me. I gasp and begin an immediate struggle up. I look straight expecting to see my follower lurking nearby ready to leap on me.

My heart jumps in fear when I see nothing but lonely trees ahead of me.

I stand quickly and glance around myself. The trees and the wind seem to be my only company.

"Where have you gone?" I mutter lifting my leg to step forward so I could find him.

I look down when my foot lands on something soft.

"Jok!" I shout leaping backwards in terror. I cover my mouth with my hand to quiet the sudden sick gasps leaving my chest.

The dead eyes of a city guard are staring vacantly up at me. The only thing left of him that looks to be still intact. Everything else had been torn and pulled apart. Gnawed on and chewed.

His belly had been ripped open, spilling his half chewed insides onto the muddy ground. His throat was laced with criss-crossing scratches and blood. His chest was open and red. Flies were buzzing around the meat and fat dangling from the sharp cracked stakes that were now the guard's ribs, which had been pulled back from the cage of his chest and now lay exposed to the world. There were large mouth sized chunks missing from his arms and face. The skin was barely hanging on in some places. His nose was gone. I could see his tongue laying swollen and blue all the way to the back of his throat thanks to the skin that had been ripped from his cheek. I looked down at the guard's hands. He had a single deep bite on the wrist of the hand that still held a knife in its grip. There's a smudge of black blood on his fingers and the metal of the knife. That must have been what I'd knocked myself out on.

I turn from the horrific scene at my feet and bend over to gag. Despite fighting it, I end up emptying the contents of my stomach over a small tree sapling beside me. I try not to close my eyes while my chest shakes and my breaths shudder out of me. Every time I do I see it all over again.

"Jok!" I gasp panting to myself.

I'm shaking. I've never felt so scared before. I've never seen such horror before. And knowing another human had inflicted this extent of mutilation on another? It was disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.

I shake my head to myself. I tell myself to get a hold of myself now.

 _Come on!_ I growl at myself pushing my back straight.

I am natblida. I am Heda. I will not let fear dictate my actions. I will not let it stop me protecting my people.

I glare off into the trees ahead of me and breathe angrily. I'm going to find this man and I'm going to kill him.

I start stumbling forward. My head aches hard. But I refuse to let it slow me down. I shake off the pain and begin a quick jog back to the area where the cannibal had first found me. I don't know why he had suddenly give up the chase before. But my guess was that he had been spooked and returned there.

To my angry dismay the area is clean. Only a few patches of blood clinging to the grounds foliage are present. And those tracks lead the way I had come.

I stare down at them while I try to think where else he would have gone. And why he had gone in the first place. He hadn't seemed to care when I had attacked him. There had been no fear in his eyes. No emotion. So why leave his prey at their most vulnerable and vanish? Maybe he had seen what he had done to my guard there. Maybe he had felt guilt and ran. But something told me that wasn't the reason.

I growl in frustration and decide to scout the surrounding area. If he had not returned here then he had carried on towards the city, towards more he could hurt.

* * *

Time slowly dragged around me as I scanned every inch of ground ahead of me looking for tracks. Sometimes I would find some but they would lead nowhere. Like the creature had walked around aimlessly for no reason at all.

I'm almost tempted to turn back and return to my city. I could cover more ground with my warriors. I sigh down at the staggered footprints I'm currently studying and decide its probably the only chance I have now at finding him. I'm frustrated I hadn't been able to find him alone. I'm angry I hadn't been able to personally get justice for my people.

But in a small way I'm also relieved. I can return to Clarke. I can make sure she made it back to Polis and is safe. I didn't want to be out here away from her. This man scared me. I didn't want him anywhere near her.

"Sis au!" Is screamed around me suddenly.

I bolt to my feet and my head whips around trying to locate the person. My blood rushes in my ears and I begin to breathe faster when searching the trees gets me nowhere. I don't know where they are and its making me panic.

"Beja!" They scream louder and my blood runs cold recognising the young tone of their voice. I'm almost certain its a young boy "Beja sis au!"

"Weron ste kamp yu?!" I shout back and begin running the second the boy's screams become louder and filled with terror.

The bracken under my feet cracks extra loud as I sprint as fast as I can towards the screams. I'm almost at the Polis' city reaches when I find the boy. He's laying on the ground with the man crouched over him. I stare at the dent in the man's skull and the bones sticking out the back of his neck. He's positioned at such an odd unnatural angle. I'm immediately sickened by him.

My heart pounds in my chest as I slow my approach and peer over the monster's shoulder. I catch a glimpse of the boy's still face. Its extremely pale. He must be dead already. I feel immediate responsibility and guilt for it. He can only be ten summers. Far too young to ever even dream of men like this coming near him.

There's a sick crunch of flesh being ripped apart that draws my attention away. I can hear the man's teeth chewing hungrily. I feel weak and have to look away before I can be sick again.

"B-Beja.."

I look back and to my absolute horror the boy is alive and looking straight at me with pained eyes begging me to help him while the man continues to eat him. He whimpers up at me again. Weaker. I know he will die. But I cannot just stand here and watch. He was an innocent. A child. He did not deserve this death.

So I bring my sword arm back and with a furious yell kick the man to the side. He falls with a surprised grunt and a low snarl at me. I glare back as I aim my sword again. I raise it in both hands above my head. I make sure its steady and then stab it powerfully down through the back of the man's shoulder, driving it straight through his body and deep into the ground beneath him. He growls up throwing red drool over the grass in front of him as he slowly struggles to rise again. Thankfully the sword keeps him pinned against the ground.

I ignore his continued growls and kneel by the young boy. As I do, the man flails with his arms. The boy whimpers out in fear. I catch the filthy bloodstained hand going for the boy's leg resting nearby and hold it away from him. It shakes in my grip struggling for freedom. The man's face turns towards me snapping loudly. I tighten my hold on his wrist and make to move it aside. I'm going to stab it down and pin into the ground with my knife. It's only as I'm directing his hand to the ground and grabbing my knife to use that I notice the emblem on the badge stitched onto the man's jacket.

 _Skaikru?_

I stare at the circular triangle surrounded with flames. I think at first maybe I had thought wrong. But no. I had seen that symbol far too many times to mistake it for anything else. It was Skaikru. He was Skaikru.

I glower down at him. My hate for his existence has tripled in the last couple of seconds. Skaikru has attacked my people. Again. One of them lay dead. Another possibly dying. A child was seriously injured. There would be consequences for this attack. My people would demand justice. They would scream for war.

War that would tear Clarke from me.

I struggle internally as I stare down at the badge. The commander side of me battles with the other side that just wants to live normally. My personal desires go to war with my duty to my people. I know what I have to do.

I just don't want to do it.

 _Head and not my heart,_ I tell myself bitterly.

This wouldn't be a betrayal against Clarke. Her people had broken our peace first. They had been the ones to start this. And unprovoked.

 _But she hasn't..._

Against my better judgement I reach out and tear the badge from the sleeve of the man's jacket. If none knew he belonged to Skaikru, then none could demand war against them for now. I can handle the situation better. With Clarke's help. We could stop this turning into a war her people would lose.

I just hope that I don't regret this decision later.

I hastily tuck the symbol of Skaikru into my pocket and then turn to the gasping child next to me. He looks incredibly pale. Blood is running from his lips and down his chin. There's a deep gash on his neck pouring more blood down his front.

I press my hand against it to slow the bleeding. But I'm not sure what else I can do to save him. I'm not a healer. And he definitely needs one if he is to live. I have to get him to Clarke.

The child looks asleep when I reach out to grasp his arms. His head lolls to one side and it doesn't look like he's breathing. I quickly lower my other hand to the clean side of his neck and press my fingers into it as I'd seen Clarke do a hundred times. She'd explained once that it was a way to feel for a heartbeat. My own heart thunders in my ears around the constant sounds of the cannibal beside us.

A small bump lifts beneath the gentle probe of my fingers.

 _He's still alive!_

Without a seconds hesitation I lift the boy in my arms and stand with him. I look down at the man swiping out with his arms again. He seems even more aggravated by our moving away. He's almost shouting at us with his vicious snarls.

I secure the boy in my arms and stamp down with the heel of my boot into the pommel of the sword holding the Sky man down. His chest smacks into the ground and a loud crack sends a wobble up the sword into my foot. Its satisfying to hear but its not nearly enough yet.

"Yu gonneple ste oden" I growl in promise at him. Then I turn and begin to run through the woods back towards the city.

My short breaths along with the boy's high gasps are the only thing I hear for the longest time while I sprint as fast as I can towards Polis. I know he is getting quieter. I can feel him getting colder in my arms. Every step is painful for him as he rocks inside my arms. Every second he slips further away.

"Stomba raun!" I order him with constant shakes that have his eyes reopening. I try talking to him to keep him conscience, "Chit yu tagon, strikon?"

"B-Beyr" He whispers almost silently back.

"Ai laik Heda, Beyr" I tell him but he doesn't have a reaction. I doubt he can hear me. I swallow thickly and add soflty, "Yu laik klir nau"

We continue running. I keep asking him questions and he keeps weakly responding.

Quickly I learn that he lives with his mother. His father died in the war against the Maunon. He had come to the outer city in a dare with his friends. But when they had come across the strange man, Beyr had fallen down and been abandoned by his friends. I get him to tell me about his mother, about his friends. I get him to tell me the color in the trees we pass and the name of the nightbloods I train. He knows Aden. He plays with him sometimes when Aden is able to sneak away from the tower. He's asked Aden to train him because he too wants to be a warrior, but his mother won't let him. He thinks his father would have wanted that. He says Aden is kind. His bestest friend. Beyr says he listens to the nightblood's many stories of Heda and Wanheda. Aden's promised to introduce him to them both one day. Beyr says he saw Wanheda on her horse once. He was so scared of her but he said hello anyway. Wanheda had smiled at him. To Beyr she is the prettiest woman in the world.

Every little nugget of information he gives is gasped and whispered to me between long breaks of silence. Slowly he becomes less responsive to my voice. Like he can't hear me properly. Often his body falls limp in my grip before it jerks to life again. It scares me every time.

I pause briefly to check my surroundings and loudly give Beyr another question while I try to catch my breath and get my bearings. I can see my tower standing proudly in the distance. The city is close by. I can hear the chatter of our people being carried over to us by the light wind. It relieves me momentarily. In a short while Beyr would be in Clarke's capable hands. He'd be truly safe.

I start running again into the direction of all the noise, with the hope of reaching home and safety keeping my energy up.

* * *

The walls of Polis and my warriors guarding them are just in my view when Beyr whispers my name and then starts harshly coughing in my arms. I stop running just shy of the last field leading to the city wall when I feel the hot flood of blood dribbling quicker down my chest. I look down at the boy shuddering in my arms. His body jerks and shakes and the more he coughs the more blood pours out of the bite in his neck. I kneel quickly and make him sit on the ground bent over to help him breathe. He shakes his head. His hand clutches tightly at my arm holding him upright while he coughs harder.

"H-He-da!" I hear him whimper out in total fear.

The boy turns towards me and tries to speak. But it comes out in another cough, sending a mouthful of blood over my face and neck. I blink in shock. Beyr collapses seconds later.

"Beyr!" I shout and lean over him.

I shake his shoulders and tap his face. I call his name over and over again, with tears coming to my eyes when he fails to respond. When I hear his last breath leave him, in a gentle whisper of my name, I can't stop myself from picking him up again to hold against my chest. My hand runs through his messy black hair. I hold him as his mother would have if she were here for him. A child leaving life should never die alone.

"Ai moba" I whisper hoarsely as I fight back the tears.

I feel terrible for his death. My heart hurt with the guilt. I feel like a failure for not being able to save him.

"Yu gonneple ste oden" I mutter setting him back in the grass and passing my hand down his brow to close his eyes.

I think about his mother and how I would have to find her and explain how her son had died. I think about Aden who will be heartbroken to hear of his friend's end. I think about the funeral pyre Beyr and my guard would share together tomorrow come sundown. I think about the murderer who was alive while my people were dead.

The fury builds high inside me until my vision is red with bloodlust. I stand and start making my way back to the place I had trapped the man that had caused all of this pain and suffering. The jacket badge inside my pocket grows heavy with every step I take closer and closer to him.

I would exact vengeance on this murderer for my people.

And then I would exact vengeance on the others responsible.

Skaikru would pay.

* * *

TRANSLATIONS:

Keryon ste Heda shoun raun ai :Spirit of the commanders guide me

Stap: Stop

Nou sen yu fut daun nowe: Don't take another step

Ai laik heda an ai hedon yu stap: I am the commander and I order you stop

Ai laik heda; I am the commander

Natblida; Nightblood.

Wamplie ste nau kom op em deyon; Death is not coming for me today

Jok: Fuck.

Beja sis au: Please help me

Weron ste kamp yu: Where are you

Yu gonneple ste oden: Your fight is over

Stomba raun; Be awake (I'm assuming its the same as 'Stay awake'...?)

Chit yu tagon, strikon: What's your name, little one

Yu laik klir nau: You are safe now

Ai moba; I'm sorry


	8. Chapter 8

_**Zombies. Sometimes you just gotta kick 'em when they're down... Over to you, Clarke!**_

* * *

 ** _Clarke._**

"Open the gate!" I scream, pulling Phaethon to a stop just before the guarded pathway into Polis. His hooves scrape against the dirt as he skids through it, sending it up in a cloud of dust. He tosses his head unhappily at me.

The guards on the gate stare up at me as the horse paces frantically with us on his back. They don't know what to make of Wanheda turning up out of nowhere covered in blood with what looks to be one of their own slumped dead in her arms. There's an immediate uneasiness in the guards' eyes when they hesitantly meet mine. And fear. There's definitely fear there too.

"Open it!" I shout the command again angrily and immediately the grounders stop staring and start moving.

The gate opens and a group of warriors rush out to me. Two men reach up to the bleeding girl in front of me. I let them take the warrior from me and turn Phaethon back towards the woods. I can't stop myself scanning the trees, from expecting Lexa to run out of them any second. My heart slams and crashes in my chest like its riding a terrible storm. Its so scared for her.

"Wanheda! What happened?!"

I glance down at my side and see a warrior coming to a stop beside me. She's looking up at me fiercely. Its Rhys. One of Lexa's personal bodyguards.

"How was Ema hurt this way, Wanheda?" She demands.

I shake my head at her.

"She was attacked. By a man in the woods. He..." I glance over at the other guards watching on and lower my voice so only Rhys will hear, "He bit her, Rhys. And-"

"Bit her?!" Rhys stares wide eyed at me when I shush her, "Who?! Is he a Reaper, Wanheda?"

I shake my head because I don't know for certain. But I had a feeling this guy, whoever he was, was much worse than any Reaper. Just the way Lexa had reacted told me that much.

Rhys looks away with my silence and touches a hand to the red blood stained on Phaethon's white mane. Ema had been laying unconscious against his neck most of the way back to the city. Phaethon's whole side has been dyed a horrifying dark red.

Rhys frowns to herself and reaches out to touch Phaethon's nose. He snorts and pulls his head away from her. I gently hush him and look back to the woods while Rhys rubs something between her fingers. I secretly grind my teeth. I want to tell her to leave my horse alone. I haven't got time for this. Lexa is still out there.

"This is the natblida.." I vaguely hear Rhys mumble to herself.

I'm not paying much attention to her, or the other guards. I'm staring at the wind shaking the tops of the trees in the distance, and thinking about what I was going to do now. Lexa had told me to stay in Polis. But how could I? She needed me.

Phaethon shudders irritably beneath me. And a hand glances mine on the stallion's great neck when I make to shush him again. My attention turns down to Rhys. She's frowning intensely now.

"Where is Heda?" She demands sharply. There's no friendliness in her voice for me at all. I don't get why she's suddenly so hostile.

"Whats-"

I stare down at the hand she's holding up. At the black liquid smudged on it.

Natblida...

 _Nightblood?,_ I translate confused. It looks more like oil than blood.

 _Wait..._

I find myself staring harder at Rhys' hand.

Nightblood...

 _Night_. _Blood._

As in dark blood...

As in..

I freeze up when it hits me hard what Rhys is talking about.

 _Lexa's blood!_

I know my confusion and fear shows in my eyes when Rhys looks back at me. She pales a little when she understands I had no idea. She turns quickly to bark orders at the others. They obey her easy. I see two guards rushing off with Ema and I move Phaethon around to face them.

"Make sure Nyko is the one to heal her!" I call after them carrying the wounded warrior away. I knew Nyko had spent the spring with my mom learning new ways to heal. I wouldn't trust anybody else in my stead right now.

"Sha, Wanheda!" One guard calls back to me as they rush away.

I turn back to the woods after Ema's hurt screams become short echoes on the wind. My heart is racing as I scan the trees. Lexa is out there. Bleeding. On her own. Against a madman.

"Wanheda?"

I have to tear my eyes away from the trees and force myself to breathe long enough to think about what I should do. My head tells me to protect Polis.

My heart has other plans.

"Triple the guard and close all the gates into Polis" I tell the remaining grounders in a dead voice, "Nobody is to enter the city"

I look down at the guard closest to me and order him to give me his sword. I'm so wound up that it comes out as more of a harsh bark than a command.

"Wanheda?" He looks confused but takes the weapon off his belt.

When he comes close to give me the sword, his eyes briefly trail over the bare stained skin on my stomach showing beneath the chest wrap I wore beneath my shirt today. He quickly throws his jacket off to offer me his shirt.

I ignore the concern in his eyes as I gratefully accept it and pull it over myself, smiling slightly the second the men turn their backs like they're just noticing for the first time just how naked my torso is. Clearly they believed the silly rumours about dying if they look on Wanheda's bare form.

I roll my eyes at them and slip my new shirt on. Its baggy and smells faintly of sweat, but it will do. I look back at Rhys after. She hadn't turned. Instead she's watching me intently. She knows already what I plan to do.

I hold my right hand down to her after I take a firm hold of my new sword and Phaethon's reins in my left one. She takes it and leaps up behind me immediately. Phaethon stamps the ground like he's annoyed with the extra load again. I just pat his neck, taking a deep breath to steady myself for what I was about to do. If this could be Reaper didn't kill me, Lexa certainly would for disobeying orders.

 _Fuck it_ , I thought recklessly. She'd forgive me. Eventually.

"Find Ryder. Tell him to send his warriors out to search the woods for the one who did this" I tell the guards and pull my horse about, "And patrol the city. Tell everybody to stay in its perimeter. Its not safe outside"

The warrior who'd given me his sword and shirt comes forward at my command, "But Heda-"

"Gave me command and you will obey!" I growl back glaring at them all like Lexa would.

He nods straight away and begins ordering the remaining men around. A hand touches my shoulder after, giving me a hard squeeze when I shudder a little scared. It reminds me to keep it together.

"Do you know where Heda is?" Rhys asks quietly in my ear so the other warriors can't hear.

I shake my head and stare out at the expanse of forest laying ahead of us.

"We're about to find out"

I kicked the horse on, and my grip tightens on the sword in my palm. My heart charges angrily in my chest. Like it had all morning.

Like it had at Mount Weather.

Terrifyingly, like that night, I knew that if Lexa was in anyway harmed, I wouldn't think.

I would kill everybody responsible.

* * *

"This was where I left her" I mumble to Rhys.

The training area looks sinister somehow. The sound of the nearby river is louder. The shadows between the trees look like they want to swallow anything that stumbles into them. I can't help but scour the ground for signs of a lithe body, broken and bleeding, dead. It has my gut twisting sickeningly.

Rhys must sense what I'm feeling, because she gently grips my wrist and loosens my tight hold on Phaethon's reins. I swallow the fear building inside myself and nod at her. I could do this.

We hop off the horse together. Phaethon nudges me in the back, he counts at the ground and whinnies. He's nervous to be back in this place, he wants to leave.

I pat his neck comfortingly then look to Lexa's warrior. She's already crouching to dip her finger into the blood on the ground where not so long ago I'd had a warrior bleeding out in my arms and a commander sat in shock beside me. Even though I know its not Lexa's blood, it still makes me cringe to see Rhys' hand smudged with it.

"Which direction did Heda come from?" She asks me, standing again.

I slowly walk to the trees that Lexa had burst from carrying her wounded warrior. My eyes quickly scan the area. I can feel my hair standing on end being back here. My body's tingling on high alert for danger. I quickly take in the trees ahead and the small slope of twisted and tangled roots beneath me. I'm sort of impressed Lexa was able to carry Ema over all that.

I take careful steps along the slope. Rhys follows me closely with her eyes pinned to the ground. I point out to the furthest trees below us and tell her Lexa had probably ran in from that direction. She nods at me and draws her sword. The sound of metal sliding against metal makes me shiver.

"You said you heard Ema screaming before Heda went to investigate?" Rhys asks me quietly. I nod at her, "Do you remember which direction the scream carried from?"

I search my memory, "East. I think"

Rhys nods and begins moving out towards the trees. I follow after, careful to tread exactly where she treads so that I don't make any noise. Rhys goes slow. Her eyes stay on the ground, following the blood.

"These are Heda's tracks with Ema" She says stopping at a tree where a handprint was bloodily printed against the bark. My skin crawls recognising it. Its Lexa's.

I numbly nod back at Rhys and look down at the tracks myself. Easily I recognise Lexa's strong footprint and Ema's heavier one close behind it. But I don't recognise the other footprint stomped and dragged through the trail after them. It looks sloppy, and heavy. Like its carrier wasn't walking properly.

"Whose is that?" I ask pointing at it.

Rhys looks back at me like she'd been expecting the question. And even though she looks calm, somehow, it instils a lot of renewed fear in me.

"I think we may be about to find out" she husks, nodding towards the trees behind me.

Immediately I freeze up.

"Listen" she whispers gently, holding a hand on my shoulder to keep me calm.

I swallow past my scared heartbeat and close my eyes to push my hearing. In the trees behind us I could hear something snapping twigs. And fabric tearing continually, as if it was getting caught every so often on the branches. It's all accompanied by a strange gargled airy sound. Like somebody breathing deeply with water in their mouth.

I open my eyes and frown at Rhys.

"Maybe it's another wounded warrior?" I suggest, worried.

She shakes her head at me, "Even a wounded warrior knows how to tread"

I turn my head back to the trees, looking for signs of a body in the shadows. But there's nothing. The noise is quieting down. Becoming distant. They're moving away.

"So it's whoever attacked Ema?" I conclude in a whisper, gripping my borrowed sword tighter.

Rhys nods.

"Listen carefully" she tells me seriously and grips my arm as she creeps stealthily around me. She looks around us when she's crouched at my back, "I will flank him. When he charges at me, I will run and lead him past that tree" The warrior points to a tall oak opposite us, "I need you to come in from behind and disable him. A cut to the back of his knee here," She slaps the spot on her own leg with her hand, ",will stop him from walking. I'll handle the rest"

Rhys stands to go into position but I stop her. She looks back at my grip on her wrist and tilts her head at the fear in my eyes. Its so grounder but at the same time its so something Lexa would do too. I have to stop myself whimpering because I feel so scared I won't see her look at me like that again.

"Where's Lexa?" I whisper lowly to the warrior. We should have seen her by now. I'm afraid the worst had happened because we haven't.

Rhys looks back at me, and for a few seconds she looks just as scared as I feel. But quickly her features are righted back into a distant mask. She shakes her head at me and grips my hand on her arm. She squeezes over it, surprisingly gentle.

"We have to take him down, Wanheda. Our people need us to protect them. We will find Heda after"

I nod, though I didn't like leaving Lexa out there on her own. What if she was injured? What if this man had bitten her too? What if she was bleeding out right now? I shuddered thinking about it.

"Clarke..." Rhys gently pulls me into focusing and points for me to head to the trees to our right.

I nod and leave her to creep as quietly as I can across the leafy ground to the big oak tree. There I watched her pull her sword from her back and creep down the gentle slope towards the dangerous man.

I push my hearing while I wait for her to come back leading him toward me. I'm thinking scared about how I would have to slash his legs. To possibly take his life if he failed to submit to arrest. The sword weighs heavier in my sweaty left hand. I didn't know if I could do that.

 _He hurt Ema,_ I think angrily, _H_ e _might have hurt Lexa_.

That was enough to make me believe I could help stop him.

A noise enters the quiet wood after a long time waiting. And I peer around the tree when I hear footsteps running. They're headed straight for me.

I straighten up. I swallow thickly and pull the sword up. I can feel myself tremble, barely able to hold the sword in my hand. I close my eyes and tell myself to calm down and focus. I try to channel my inner Wanheda. Because right now I need her to make this kill for me. Any second now Rhys would run past and so would the dangerous man that we had to take down.

I could do this.

I had to.

I hear twigs snapping louder. Closer. I open my eyes and tighten my grip on the sword. My body tenses too.

Somebody does run past.

But its not Rhys.

"Lexa!"

The grounder commander skids to a stop hearing my voice and spins about to me. Her eyes look a little wild and they widen in absolute disbelief and panic seeing me stood in the middle of the woods holding a sword. My eyes widen seeing the blood on her face.

"What did you do?!" I start striding fast towards her.

I drop the sword before I stop in front of her, and move to hold her face in my hands, tilting it this way and that to search for wounds beneath all the red staining her skin. She impatiently pulls them down.

"It's not my blood, Clarke!" she explains rushed and angry. She ignores the perplexed look I give her, "What are you doing here?! I told you to stay in the city!"

I cut her a quick glare.

"If you thought for one second that I was going to leave you alone out here, then-"

"That's exactly what I thought!" She bursts angrily causing me to jump, "I didn't want you in danger!"

"You think I want you in danger?!" I yell back at her. I was furious that I wasn't allowed to be protective back.

Lexa quickly shushes me and pulls me to the side so that we're standing behind a thick tree. Her eyes dart all the open space behind me before they move over my face a little softer. She relaxes her stern stance and tenderly strokes a line down the side of my face. And though I'm still pissed at her, I can't stop the calm way it soothes my panicked heart.

"I'm sorry" she whispers quietly, bowing her head down to rest against mine.

I exhale slowly and let the rest of my anger fade. Lexa faintly smiles, knowing that I've already forgiven her.

I wipe my thumb through the dark red staining her cheek. Its thick and covers the entire right side of her jaw and neck, splattering up her cheeks and across her forehead. When I move my hand down to follow it's horrific trail on her skin, I find it's drenched through her shirt too. I stare at it. I know only a fatal wound would make that much mess.

"Did you find him?" I ask her, not really feeling sure if I wanted to know.

Lexa nods, her bottom lip quivers, "He.. He kept getting back up, Clarke"

I feel myself stare at her, "What?"

Lexa closes her eyes and breathes deep breaths. I look down and see her hands are shaking. I take hold of her wrists and try to hold them comfortingly. It doesn't stop her shaking though.

"I found him and demanded he give himself up. When he turned.." Lexa shudders to herself, "His eyes.. I've never seen eyes like that. They looked diseased. And his skin.." She looks back at me seriously, "It looked rotten, Clarke"

I shake my head to rid myself of the nasty images coming to mind with her description. I don't understand what she's saying.

"What happened?" I ask her. I'm staring at the blood again. I want to know where it came from.

Lexa frowns deeply like she does when she's trying to understand something.

"He came at me. I warned him to stay back but it was like he couldn't hear me. I think.. I think he wanted to.."

I feel a tremble rush through her and immediately hold her to me. I feel my heart beating scared with hers at my chest. I'd never seen Lexa scared. It scares me.

"I pushed him away and he came at me again" She continues quietly, "We grappled and I managed to cut his face"

Lexa looks down at her hands. I gasp and take them into my own seeing the deep cuts on her palms.

Lexa keeps talking over my tearing a strip off my shirt, "He kept pushing on me. Kept making my sword go deeper into his face. As if he couldn't feel it. He just wouldn't stop"

I take her right palm and tie the strip of shirt tight over it.

"And then what?" I ask ripping another strip for her left hand.

Lexa shakes her head.

"He came at me. I slashed him across the stomach and nothing! He didn't care!" She looks down at me, completely afraid, "I even broke his neck!"

I stare at her, "Did you try-"

Lexa nods over me, "I lost him in the woods. I went looking for him... I stabbed him through the heart when I found him again. He was-..." Lexa looks close to tears all of a sudden but she doesn't explain when I ask her to. Just breathes deeply and continues her story through trembling lips, "I shoved my sword through him. Pinned him to the ground," Her face twists bitterly, "I may have poked him with a stick for the good it did. He's not far from here"

I frown at her. Its not like Lexa to leave an enemy alive.

"Why didn't you kill him?" I ask waiting for her to look at me.

Lexa refuses to. She just stares at her hands with dull eyes looking at the blood on her fingers as if in shame. I can guess something happened, something bad she's keeping from me. But I know she won't talk about it. So I don't push her.

Instead I think about I'd been so scared she'd been harmed. I'm beyond relieved that she isn't hurt. And I think about this man that had somehow managed to live through various fatal wounds. I'd seen Lexa fight. I'd trained with her. I know she's a vicious warrior. If she wanted somebody dead, usually, normally, they definitely died. How did this stranger avoid death?

"What is he?"I wonder to myself scared.

Lexa shakes her head at me. She has no idea. I notice her hand brush against her pocket. And her eyes refusing to look at me even harder. Like she's hiding something.

I'm about to ask whats wrong when Lexa freezes suddenly.

Her head tilts around the tree to look behind me.

"Clarke..."

I look up at the terror ripping apart the calm in her voice. All the blood is gone from her face. She's staring at the trees behind us like they're going to kill us. And I don't understand why until she locks my eyes and whispers to me.

"You are alone, aren't you?"

I frown at her confused, and then I stare horrified when I hear a scream.

"Rhys!"

* * *

I spin around and try to locate where the screaming came from. Lexa knows. She pulls me back from going to find her screaming warrior. She holds me against the tree with her hand on my chest while she stares at the woods behind me. She spots something on the ground ahead and tells me to stay put.

I purse my lips watching her slide around the tree. I hear her footsteps walk further away from me, and my heart bangs in my chest, and then she comes back with something in her hand. I glance down and recognise the sword I'd flung aside before.

Lexa looks at me briefly and I give her a determined look back knowing what she wants to say. She shakes her head to herself and turns away. Her hand reaches back for me. I step away from the tree and take it.

"Don't you dare let go of my hand!" She orders me before bursting into a run.

I nod as I run to keep up with her.

"Don't you!" I growl back tightening my hold around her fingers.

Lexa threw me a quick look and locked her fingers through mine in silent promise.

We run hard together through the woods following the echoes of Rhys' desperate cries for help. The sun burns down on our backs and the ground crackles with the dry leaves and twigs breaking and snapping under our boots. My lungs burn inside my chest trying to keep pace with Lexa, who's almost flying with how fast she was running. I know she's desperate to get to Rhys. And why wouldn't she be after she'd first hand seen what had happened to Ema? I know I feel terrified.

We charge out of the dense trees and into an empty clearing. We're halfway across it when Lexa stops abruptly, causing me to accidentally slam into her back. She barely notices. Lexa's face is pale while she listens hard to something. I frown at her because I can't hear anything. That's when I understood whats going on.

Rhys had stopped screaming out.

"No!" I whisper in panic and look to Lexa, "Lexa-"

Lexa holds a hand up, "Shh, Clarke!" She looks at me, "Hear that?"

I swallow my suggestion that we should keep looking and hold my breath as I force my hearing on. I stare at Lexa afraid when I hear it. Twigs breaking. And somebody softly whimpering. And over the top of it there was the sound of a man breathing.

Lexa turns her head and nods it to the trees on my left. My heart skips scared imagining what's waiting for us on the other side of them. But we can't go back. I'd brought Rhys out here. I have to help her.

I turn to sprint towards the noise, dragging Lexa after me for the briefest of moments before she takes stride beside me. Together we crash through the small crowd of tall trees, and I stop in horror when we see a filthy looking man shuffling lazily towards Rhys on the ground. He's got his back to us, while she's dragging herself backwards away from him. She looks terrified.

I stare down at the man, not believing what I was looking at. His head is hanging at a weird and impossible angle. His hair is flattened on one side with blood. There's stained slashes through his jacket. Half his right sleeve is hanging off. There's a dagger buried deep in his left thigh and his pants are pouring with blood. He's completely covered in dirt too. Like he's been buried or something.

But what gets me the most is Rhys' sword impaled right through the back of his neck exiting through his throat. And the blood gushing down his chest from it.

 _How is he still alive?!_

"Agh! Rhys' cry draws my attention away from the staggering man.

I look over to her trying to scramble to safety.

"Lexa!" I point over to where the warrior was struggling backwards on her hands away from the growling man.

The commander looks too, and then back at me.

"Get her out of here" she orders, letting go of me to turn and run towards the man.

"Lexa!" I scream after her.

The man turns immediately hearing my voice and he lets out a strangled growl as he turns and sees her. Lexa slows and takes up a defensive stance and waits for him to rush her.

My heart stops and I immediately start struggling to reach her. I'm continually tripping over the hidden roots and leaves that Lexa had somehow avoided. But I don't care. I ignore the pain in my side and back as I slide down the slope. My attention is fixed on the fight about to take place below me.

The strange man is shuffling closer to the commander, letting out huffing moans and angry snarls that sends dark foaming spit from his mouth towards Lexa. Her expression turns the more fiercer the closer her gets, showing no signs of backing down. When he's a good few feet away from her she starts to pace to the right. Her signature move before an attack.

My heart's banging in my chest as I anticipate her next move.

"Lexa!" I shout scared to her. She has to get out of there!

"Help Rhys, Clarke!" she calls back to me as the man slowly nears her some more.

I wrench my eyes off her and make myself to the fallen warrior. I skid to my knees beside Rhys.

"Wanheda!" Rhys whimpers holding her hands out to let me help her up. Her hands grip my forearms tight and she clenches her teeth trying to heave herself up.

I tell her to stop and rush my eyes over her. I look down at the puddle of blood on the ground by her leg, at the broken bone hang sticking out of it.

 _Fuck!_

I have a three second moment of panic and then move to temporarily fix Rhys' leg so I can move her.

"I need this" I tell the warrior and harshly rip her guard's sash off her shoulder guard. She gasps but lets me have it.

I tear the thin fabric into quick strips and bend over Rhys' waist. Behind me I can hear Lexa fighting with the aggressive man. It doesn't help in keeping me calm and focused on Rhys. Her short yells over his snarling, along with the sounds of flesh on flesh and something continually hitting the ground behind me just make me worry more.

I ignore the quick movements of Lexa fighting in the corner of my eye and tie one of the strips tight around Rhys' thigh in a tourniquet. I take a quick side glance at Lexa while I tighten it. She's moving backwards, avoiding the man's hard swing at her head. My hands start shaking. I make myself look away so I can knot off the tourniquet properly.

Rhys falls back breathing hard while I do. I look down at her panting to herself. She looks incredibly pale. I'm scared she's losing too much blood. My eyes go back to her leg and the little help I've given. There's still blood seeping out of her leg around the broken bone. The one tourniquet isn't enough. It needs another. But I'm worried tying off her leg will stop blood flow altogether. She could lose her leg if I do.

She could lose it if I don't.

I bite my lip then make my decision.

Rhys cries out the moment I lift her leg up a little more so I can pull another strip of fabric up under her knee to tie off the bleeding beneath the broken skin where part of her tibia bone is hanging out. I have to ignore her agonised scream and tight clutch at my shoulder when I tighten it off and wrap the rest of the sash around the open wound. Its not tight but I'm hoping it'll stop anything getting in the wound and infecting it.

"Hey!" I hear Lexa shout out angrily behind me.

Rhys gasps and quickly taps on my shoulder.

I look up at her then over my shoulder at Lexa. I feel Rhys cringe backwards with me when I see the man had turned towards us. He stands swaying a moment like he's trying to work out who to go for. Then he starts coming towards me and Rhys.

"Clarke!" Lexa shouts in warning. Like I need it.

I pause my backing up as he closes in on us. I stare at his face. It's pretty messed up. It looks like half of it had been ripped off. The right side of it is drenched in blood. And I see Lexa's right, his eyes do look diseased.

 _He... He looks familiar.._

I feel myself frown at him trying to figure out where I've seen him before.

"Clarke!" Rhys shakes my shoulder to stop my staring and I feel the cold handle of a knife being forced into my hand.

I glance down at it and then back at her panicked expression. She holds my wrist up, and suddenly I realise what she's trying to get me to do.

I breathe quickly and hold the knife up on my own with a shaking arm while the man comes closer.

"Stay back!" I tell him, taking a feeble swipe at the air in front of me.

He ignores it and keeps coming. I quickly glance behind him to Lexa. I feel my heart stop seeing her running towards his back.

"Lexa!"

Lexa jumps the same moment I shout at her. Seconds later her body collides with his, sending them both to the ground. He snarls out hitting the dirt and starts crawling to where she's rolled and now sitting crouched back on her haunches with her sword up ready. He staggers clumsily back to his feet. I will her to move out of the way the closer he gets to her.

Lexa waits until the last moment when he lurches forward, stretching out for her with his dirty hands. I see her roll to his left and then rise to pull Rhy's sword from his neck. He falls backwards onto his ass and she fiercely kicks him away. Lexa begins slapping the extra sword against her own and slowly inches step by step backwards to distract the man away from returning to me and Rhys.

I spin around realising she's buying us time and reach down to the warrior at my feet. Rhys whimpers out as I pull her arm up and around my shoulders. She screams again when I pull her quickly to her feet. The man snarls and I look up in time to see him turn back to us, grunting and growling. He leaves Lexa to amble towards us. This time Lexa's shout doesn't call him back to her. He's coming for us.

And fast.

"Run!" Lexa fiercely shouts at me and rushes after the man.

* * *

I panic while I pull Rhys a step forward. And then another. And another. We stumble and struggle through the trees following the sound of the river through the woods. We're too slow. Her body is dragging mine down, making it hard to walk, let alone run.

"Clarke!" Rhys weakly moans falling behind to clutch her leg.

I drag her with me, "Keep walking!" I pant to her, "Just keep going!"

I can hear Lexa fighting with the monster following us. I'm forcing myself not to look back to check that she's okay. If I do I know that I won't be able to carry on.

Rhys bares her teeth and drags herself another few steps forward. But her weight is bit by bit falling heavier onto me. I'm breathing hard trying to get her to the safety of the trees just past the slope we'd started to climb. My lungs feel like they're about to catch fire. But I tell myself to carry on. We can't stop.

We stagger on towards the river. I'm hoping we can make it there and run into Lexa's guards that are supposed to be posted just past it. I'm tempted to start screaming out for them so they'd come and help Lexa kill that man.

"Nearly there" I pant breathlessly to Rhys encouraging her on, "Just a little-"

"Clarke!" Lexa's scream is sudden and faint, cried out in a terrified and breathless voice far behind us. It sends chills all over my body.

My head whips over my shoulder and I push Rhys aside the second I see the crazy man right on my heels about to grab at her head.

Rhys falls down and his hands grip my arm tight instead. I cry out feeling his fingernails scratch into my skin and struggle to push him off me. He growls and and knocks his head forward to snap his teeth in my face. Rhys suddenly screams out in pain and the man trying to attack me falls. She'd kicked him in the back of the leg, making him collapse to his knees. His hand immediately goes for my leg, wrapping tight around it to pull it toward him. I scream in fright and kick at his head, causing him to fall and see Rhys, who's now lying motionless on the ground in front of him.

 _No!_

"Hey!" I shout at him and kick him in the side to stop him reaching Rhys. He grunts at me and starts crawling towards me.

I start backing up when he starts standing. I'm looking around us for any sign of Lexa, but I can't see her and I don't know why. I'm really starting to panic. I can't kill this guy!

"Lexa!" I shout loud as he stands up and comes for me. I hear a horse and her call my name back and I yell again just as he grabs my shirt.

I fumble with Rhys' knife still in my left hand and desperately stab him in the chest. But instead of screaming out, he just pushes against my hand holding the knife, pushing his entire weight against me. I whimper in pain as my hand bends backwards, and try to move away from him. He shoves forward with an excited snarl when I slip trying to catch my footing. I feel myself begin to fall backwards.

"Agh!"

I instinctively reach for something to catch myself. My fingers curl around the man's jacket, pulling him with me like he wants.

I scream tumbling backwards with him down another slope away from Rhys. I hear somebody shout my name as I slide fast over the tree roots and grass beneath my back.

I breathe deeply when my momentum stops. After taking an inventory of myself I decide that I'm okay.

I shriek out hearing his loud snarls close by my ear and again feeling his body climb over mine. His bloody hands start scratching into me over my shirt, causing me to cry out in pain. His fingers feel like knives.

I look up at him and feel utterly terrified seeing the dead stare he gives me as he strains his head down to snap his stained teeth at me. His spit foams in the corners of his mouth and flies everywhere when he growls, spraying my face with something I really hope isn't blood. I cry out in complete fear and push him away, with arms shaking against his weight and superior strength. It barely keeps him away from me.

He takes another snap at my face and I realise with dread what he's trying to do.

He's trying to bite me.

"Lexa!" I scream out for help.

I hear faintly hear her shout my name back. I tip my head back and look up above me at the top of the slope where Lexa is sliding down to reach me. Behind her I can see a white and red blur moving anxiously up and down. Phaethon.

My attention comes back to my hands shaking. The man jerks to the left, pulling my grip free from him. His face looms closer all of a sudden when he falls down against my chest. It winds me and in my involuntary jerk up, he nearly gets a bite of my face.

I strain my neck back as far as I can into the grass to avoid his mouth. I catch the foul stench of his breath as he snarls in frustration at me. I try to punch him away but that only seems to aggravate him more than stop him. My hands push harder at his shoulders to keep him away. My arms start violently shaking trying to hold him above me again. Inch by inch he starts getting closer.

I whimper and close my eyes knowing I can't hold him off much longer.

"Clarke!"

The heavy weight is wrenched from me suddenly. I open my eyes and lean up on my side to see Lexa rolling with the man, straight down the rest of the hill towards the river.

Their bodies roll over one another.

Faster and faster.

Until she kicks him.

He flies away from her, landing with a sickening crunch on the pebbly bank below. Lexa's body carries on tumbling despite her try to stop herself. Until she lands on her side on the bank, with her head crashing into a rock by the waters edge.

"No!" I whisper feeling my heart stop.

I cry out and push myself up to scramble down the rest of the slope. Lexa doesn't respond to my continued shouting her name. She isn't moving. From this distance I cant't tell if she's even breathing.

I frantically slip down the slope on my side, ignoring the way it pulls my shirt up and has my flesh raking over hidden stones and sticks. I gasp and pant to myself but I don't stop until I'm at her side. My hands grip her shoulders and pull her body over towards me. Her head lolls in my lap. Her face is pale and there's black blood gushing out of a cut on her temple.

"Lexa?!" I shake her shoulder and then set her down when she doesn't answer. I bend my head to her chest to catch her breaths.

Too shallow. Too spaced out.

I start panicking.

"Lexa!" I shout at her, and try slapping her face, "Lexa, wake up!"

Lexa moans. And I breathe a big breath. Slowly her eyes flutter open. She stares at me hazily.

"Clarke?" She mutters and passes out almost immediately again.

"No! Stay with me!" I beg her, tapping her cheek, "Please, Lexa!"

A sudden deep growling makes me freeze and steals my attention away.

I slowly turn my head in time to catch the crazy man collapse to his hands and knees beside me. I stumble back from him, and when he sees Lexa is closer and not moving from him too, he turns to her.

"No!"

I furiously roar and kick my foot hard into his face when he looks back at me. I feel his nose break beneath my boot. He falls to his back making gargled noises. I quickly crawl back to Lexa's side to sit with my fists raised protectively in front of her. If he wanted to get to her, he'd have to get through me first.

I'm breathing hard and fast to control the fear and adrenaline rushing through me as I watch the man sit up and turn around to face me again. My heart's pounding utterly terrified in my chest while I anticipate his next move. I stare at the blood running down his face to drip off his chin while he growls. He ignores his profusely bleeding nose. Slowly he crawls back up to his feet and I just know he's going to come at me again.

My right hand lowers and grazes the pebbly floor beneath me. I can't find anything that feels like its in anyway going to work as a weapon against this guy. So I panic and look down. Thats when my heart jolts.

Lexa's knife was tucked safe on her thigh still.

I grab and yank it out of its holster on her leg. I throw it to my dominant hand and hold it out to warn him back.

"Don't come any closer!" I shout at him.

He ignores me and lunges with a deep growl.

I yelp and close my eyes, slashing blindly in fright.

My left arm jars painfully and something warm hits my chest. I let go of the knife and jump at the dead weight falling into my lap seconds later. My eyes open at the wet feel of something flooding over my pants.

I look down and yelp and throw him off me in a panic. It was only after I'd done that, that I noticed he wasn't moving. My eyes travel down and lock on the knife buried into the side of his head.

I stare at it.

It was buried incredibly deep, straight into his brain.

How could he take a sword to the heart and live but not handle a knife to the brain?

It didn't make sense.

I feel my energy drain knowing the danger was gone. I haunch over breathing deeply to myself. I'm trying to calm myself down. To tell myself its okay, I'm not dead.

My eyes drift back to the dead man beside me.

"What are you?" I mutter at him around my light panting.

I start staring down at his still face. I feel mine going lax seeing his features up close and relaxed.

I did recognise him!

"Stevens?!"

He was from the Ark. From my station. He was one of the other ninety-nine kids chosen for the drop ship.

I stare at the wounds on his face and remember how crazy he'd acted. Like a reaper, but worse.

What the hell happened to him?!

"C-Clarke?" Lexa breathes out deeply from behind me.

I twist round and see her crawling on her side towards me, fingers raking at the pebbles and dirt under her body as she struggled to reach me.

"Lexa!" I breathe, rolling up to my knees to crawl to her side.

I sit up when I reach her and catch her collapse into my lap. I hold her tightly and press my hand to her head. She winces and cusses under her breath in Trigedasleng. I manage a weak laugh of relief back at her. She was okay.

"You're okay" she sighs clutching at my arm bracing the back of her neck.

I nod at her and kiss her head repeatedly. I can't help it. I thought I'd lost her.

Lexa lets me have my moment. She's smiling weakly, probably enjoying it. Eventually she taps my arm and looks past me to the body laying still behind me. It makes me feel sick seeing his blood running slowly over the pebbles towards the stream.

"Is he-"

I nod at her.

"He's dead" I confirm.

The commander looks back to me, then back at the dead man. She does it a couple times. I can tell she marvelling at the kill wound.

"You did that?" She asks a little astounded.

I smile down at her despite myself.

Lexa looks back at me confused. Her eyes are glazing over hazily.

I tap her cheek when she closes them, "Hey! Stay with me, Lexa"

She shakes her head.

"I thought he was- I thought you were.. Clarke.."

Tears fill her eyes and I gasp out feeling her pull me into her. Lexa kisses me surprisingly strong considering her weakened state. Her lips brush over mine in a panic to make me understand her without her voicing it.

She stops almost as quickly as she'd started. And she leans back to stare at me. I nod and move in to kiss her back. I understand.

"Heda!"

We break apart and both look up the slope at Lexa's guards continued shouts for her. Reluctantly, I inch away from being so close to her while she weakly calls out to them. Seconds later they're rushing down towards us. Matt's in the lead. He skids and rushes towards us, stopping right at our feet.

His dark eyes take in Lexa's bleeding before they land furiously on me like I'd done it.

He starts moving towards me, "Yu! Yu laksen em!" Matt pulls his knife off his belt and I start inching back from him. He glares furiously at me before he barks at me, "Ai na tu eno yu. Skaikru filth!"

"Mattyu!" Lexa growls low at him and weakly drags herself to be between us when he steps forward. Matt ducks his head when he looks back to see her glaring at him, "Em pleni! Klarke em nou oso baga" She sees him look back at me skeptically and pushes angrily, "Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op"

I see Matt pausing to talk back. He knows he shouldn't. But he's going to. He's going to speak up because he hates me so much. And I know he does. Because he gives me a seething look before he opens his mouth to argue.

"Heda," He begins shifting closer to her with an imploring look for her to agree with him, "Ai nou wich in em"

Lexa replies instantly, and it sort of sends a warm flutter through my heart.

"I don't care who you trust or don't trust, Matt" she tells him firmly, "I trust her"

I look away from the commander's continued glare at her warrior to the other guards who are arriving down the slope too. I let the last coil of tension leave my body when they flank around us in a protective circle. Finally, we were safe.

"What is this?" One asks kicking the dead man's side.

"A problem" Lexa answers, turning her attention away from Matt to look in disgust at the dead body before locking her eyes with me, "One we need to solve"

 _One we need to discuss,_ her expression tells me.

I nod back at her. I'm nervous to tell her he was Skaikru but its not something I can keep from her. Not if we were going to deal with it.

"We need to get back to the city" I announce to the guards.

I force my tired limbs to stand. And order two guards to carry Lexa. She stubbornly refused the help.

"I can walk!" she growls at the warriors coming toward her. They step back straight away.

Lexa awkwardly stands herself up and almost immediately collapses again. I have to lock myself down from going for her when she gasps out in pain. She looks so pale and so weak. Its hard not wanting to bring her into my arms and refuse her leave their safety.

"I will carry you, Heda" Matt offers her, shoving his way through the other guards standing in the way.

Lexa nods. Though I can see its very reluctant. I try to ignore the way I feel completely annoyed about it. I hate seeing him touch her. And her letting him. I turn away before she sees its irritating me.

"Bring the body back" she commands the others.

I turn back to it while Matt collects Lexa into his arms. The guards around Stevens look repulsed as they pick up his body between them. One approaches it laying on his companion's shoulders and pulls the commander's knife free from the dead man's skull. He flicks most of the blood off it and then holds it out to me when I stride forward.

I take it and stare at the dark blood in the light. I don't know what I'm looking for. Maybe some clue to what had happened to Stevens. He'd turned into a savage beast. Something must have caused it. Something he ate maybe. Or a disease of some kind. Or was there a new drug circulating like the Red that reapers craved?

"Ver, where are the other patrols?" I ask the guard closest to me while still staring at the knife.

Behind me I feel Lexa's eyes burn into my back. I already know she doesn't agree with my decision to send her people into danger like I had.

Ver looks up from his study of the area.

"We don't know, Wanheda" he tells me honestly, "But Ryder and his group are due back soon"

I nod, though I didn't like the answer.

"Clarke," I turn to Lexa and see her watching me from inside Matt's arms, "They will be fine. It was one man"

"One monster" Matt grunts steadying his hold on Lexa. He glares at me in the same moment. As if to extend the insult to me too.

The commander doesn't notice. Lexa just nods in agreement.

"Demons haunted his soul" she tells me gently seeing my tight frown, "That's all it was"

I don't believe that. And I know that underneath the commander bullshit neither did she. But I can see the calming effect it has on her warriors. The grounders believed too easily in demons and being bewitched. It made sense to tell them it was an act of possession rather than tell them the truth; that we didn't know what had happened. Because that would only cause a panic. Especially because it involved my people. Lexa was trying to stop a war between our clans before we could get a grasp on it first.

Again.

I nod at her and try to look less worried for her warriors' sakes. Lexa gives me the barest of smiles when I walk back to her and Matt so I can check her head. I hesitate with my hand raised when Matt looks ready to snarl at me. But I go ahead and check she's okay anyway.

Lexa gives me two seconds of grazing and gently poking at her cut before she pulls my hand down from her temple and lowers it to hold in hers near her heart. I swallow feeling it pounding fast inside her chest. Lexa ignores the concerned look I'm giving her and presses her thumb over my knuckles assuringly.

"What happened to Rhys?" I ask Matt as we all begin walking up the slope together. Two of our guard go ahead with bows drawn ready. The rest fan in a circle around the commander. All with their weapons raised.

Matt carefully shifts Lexa in his arms, knocking my hand free from her, and begins his climb up after the others. He makes sure he's walking faster than me the entire time. So that I have to lightly jog to keep up.

"Aris is with her" he grunts his reply at me.

I nod. I'm glad that they had thought to bring a warrior who knew how to heal.

Lexa peers at me over Matt's shoulder, "We will figure this out" she promises me.

I nod back at her.

Really we had no other choice.

* * *

 _ **Translations;**_

 _Sha- Yes_

 _Mattyu - Matthew (incase it wasn't obvious)  
_

 _Yu! Yu laksen em! - You! You hurt her!_

 _Ai na tu eno yu - I'm going to end you._

 _Em pleni. Klarke em nou oso baga - Enough. Clarke is not our enemy._

 _Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op - Attack her and you attack me._

 _Ai nou wich in em - I don't trust her._


End file.
